The mist smeared the day
in a haze
the leaves licked at me
morning dew
slipped like silk
onto my skin
The sun just rising beyond
and delirious
with my pursuit
I thought I felt the earth
breathe underneath my feet
I could hear it’s stomach churning
the worms ready to feast
The world itself a beast
and I just a mere mite crawling
matted in it’s fur
and reliant upon it’s skin
not something to be messed with.
Day 16: Pause
The music plays
an admission that life continues
I want to take the notes out of the song
and hold them still
never letting go
forever on pause
to reflect the undertow of silence
now you’re gone
Films and books with emotionally numb characters
I’ve seen a fair few films that all merge into one big reel so I can’t really go through film titles. And I’ve read a fair few books with this kind of narrative too.
The main character is relatable with their grumpiness (at least to me) they’re emotionally closed off, numb often depressed characters who push the other characters away…
One thing they all have in common is that they end with this:
The character realises they want to live and that they are learning to ‘enjoy life’ and be in the moment more. Tha’s not what leaves me wondering, ‘why the fuck?’ though, it’s this bit… They always come to a conclusion that they want to live life to the full and part of doing that is feeling EVERYTHING there is to be felt, including painful moments, loss, grief. Cue montage of them going through all the different feels from amazed, happy, grief-stricken, adrenaline rush, crying, laughing etc….
And all I can think is, Why? Why would you want to feel all there is to feel? Why? On what part of this god forsaking world would anyone in their right mind want to feel all the things there are to feel?!
Grief? Nah, let’s just skip that! Yea?
Let’s become a psychopath!
It’s now that I end this post saying: fuck life. And in the words of Donald Trump (probably) Fuck it biggly!
day 15: Problems I couldn’t mend
I wanted to be pink sky
telling of future calm
instead, I was grey
with heavy cumulonimbus clouds
seeking to vent
unable to ease your burdened heart
because these were problems I couldn’t mend
day 14: sorrow
Even simple cumulus clouds
can seem like they’re pregnant with storms
as they mark time in the sky
when you feel alien and heavy
with sorrow, you’re trying to hide
when there is an ocean weighing down your stomach
and tidal waves rising up to your throat
it doesn’t matter that the sun is shining up there, up high
all that matters is the tide
of the emptiness inside
Day 13 Life is one big hollow scream
Life is one big hollow scream
of nothingness
consuming itself
over and over again
Day 12, Sunday wordle
Time is a flutter in the eye
The blink of a wing
That words and symbols measure
To mark the shifts in decades
Stories written and rewritten
To haunt the years
In the hopes of a spark
To light up lanterns
To float as if on water
Fluttering through time
Day 11: Disjointed
Disjointed
Looking at the world
In picasso focus
Fragmented imaginations
Building on the scaffolding
Of previous creations
The evolution of mind
Disordered memories
Fast forward and rewind
But always out of sync with the times
And they’re always there to remind
But they’re never quite right
These Picasso paintings
In the mind
Day 10: Black tongues
I’m a discombobulated, disembodied
automated automaton
an assorted medley
a conglomeration
running numbers
trying to find my station
and there I was
between their eyes
caught in their squawk
at home amongst the black tongues
Advent calendar 9: Something about you
There’s something about you
that pulls me through
trudging through the winters gloom
there is a spark in your eyes
I can see myself through
you might be the light
at the end of the tunnel
if I was small enough
I’d hide in your covert feathers
and we could fly
to another muse
silverbackgorillapoetry.com 