I don’t want to stay

If only I was a balloon
you could let go
and I could fall up
till snared by the branch of a tree
there I could hang free.

My despair has me embroiled
in so much deceit
staying alive
only for people to reach

This isn’t a life worth living
resentment is the moon
propelling the tides in my head
only sticking around
so others don’t have to think me dead
trying to die within
so I can be an animated memory
for those who claim me.

Let words fall from my lips
as empty as they may be
dead inside, but they won’t have to see

What can I say
I’m trying to stay
but how I hope something takes me away

Dunno

I’ll smoke another cigarette
to put another nail in my coffin
I keep thinking I might be getting close to rest
but still, I keep on going
torn between fear and loathing
Why do I keep trying to do my best
Can’t I just stay in tracksuit bottoms and vest
loafing around with no will to do anything
but in jest

Why is everything always about progress
what if I just want to stay here
where I regress?

They say it’s okay not to be okay
but I still think I feel ashamed
Is it okay to not be okay
and stay the same?


Not my home

The needles write love on my knuckles
while the blades write hate
I will not be stilled
till earth and water whittle me down
I could only wish
it would be quicker somehow
these waters are troubled
I’m crumbling as rubble
becoming the froth on the water’s edge
a slow release and decay
I wish to be dust not tomorrow but today
I am not a sabal palm
or anything other rugged
I cannot withstand eras
this earth is not my home but a cage

A deleterious soul

Photography & poetry by Spacetyrannosaur AKA Silverbackgorilla poetry

You are a deleterious soul

pushing the buttons of all who dare tread

within pushing distance

of your daily insistence

that you must erase their existence

or else suffer the consequence

of your wrath

dare they breathe upon the same air

dare they leave or come back

on the whims of their own time