Is this alchemy or are we just fools? Looking for silver lines where there is no gold Is a clod of earth just dirt to us? Something to cleanse away as if we didn’t come from the dust that we will return to one day
Living and breathing pushing through anxiety like I’ll be pushing up daises when death should come Pushing through anxiety like a mother pushes out babies One breath, two breath, fuck that I’m here death! I’m done running chasing my next breath one breath, two breath Fuck that Eat me, death!
Put my hands in the soil my fingers worming through roots touching death teeming with life humus is humorous two shades one called death, one called life different shades of each 50 shades of life remember, can you remember why the strife? No, not that, the other one I’ve got plenty, but not a wife!
I thought I thought a thought that strangled breath Something about the traffic of things an accumulation Too much, too many fuck, too many wires no wonder I’m so fucking wired Chasing electricity electrified terrified One breath, two breath three breath Pushing through anxiety like I’ll be pushing up daises One breath, two breath a wall of bricks with wires tongue tied, tongue lied Remember, can you remember the one very specific thing I thought I thought?
A dying field mouse was the catalyst For the tears turning to diamonds Under the pressure of unrelease An apologetic surrendering To my failure to be a hero My humanity drifting me apart A wedge between me and my kind A bridge I can’t cross To look you in the eyes And become a part of the rat race I despise That mouses black beady eyes The abyss I looked into Forever looking back
Is there anywhere I can be someone else I’m tired of being wrapped up in myself but I’ve seen out there and seen the earth laid bare it’s too much for me all I see is death looking back at me mirroring my decisions and indecisions falling into the abyss of those eye sockets
Survival instinct is my enemy he’s always there when I try to be free there was a moment when I thought the end would come but he kicked out and I survived another fight My survival instinct is my enemy why won’t he listen to these thoughts in my head I want to be returned to the earth again