There’s a peregrine falcon in the sky
He’s hunting me and I don’t know why
Did I fall down the rabbit hole
And become a little mouse or mole? Maybe a little bird up in the trees Perhaps I’m a little goldcrest up in the pines
Trying not to be his faveroute feast On which to dine
Is this alchemy
or are we just fools?
Looking for silver lines
where there is no gold
Is a clod of earth just dirt to us?
Something to cleanse away
as if we didn’t come from the dust
that we will return to one day
the waves snap
at the edge
time chiselled in rocks
debris of war
aka life
a fossilised anguish
deep in the core of us
my brown eyes
darkening waters
the world a periphery vision
separating me from you
falling into the black
and I shall kick up no resistance
a night of forever
whispers me to sleep
in deaths cradle
If we push up daises when we’re dead
does that mean we’re all gardeners in the end?
but…
No. On second thoughts
it’ll just be another shade of death
when some fellow human ape
comes along with weed killer.
Living and breathing
pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
when death should come
Pushing through anxiety
like a mother pushes out babies
One breath, two breath,
fuck that
I’m here death!
I’m done running
chasing my next breath
one breath, two breath
Fuck that
Eat me, death!
Put my hands in the soil
my fingers worming through roots
touching death
teeming with life
humus is humorous
two shades
one called death, one called life
different shades of each
50 shades of life
remember, can you remember why the strife?
No, not that, the other one
I’ve got plenty, but not a wife!
I thought I thought a thought
that strangled breath
Something about the traffic
of things
an accumulation
Too much, too many
fuck, too many wires
no wonder I’m so fucking wired
Chasing electricity
electrified
terrified
One breath, two breath
three breath
Pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
One breath, two breath
a wall of bricks with wires
tongue tied, tongue lied
Remember, can you remember
the one very specific thing I thought I thought?
Don’t we look happiest without the flesh?
I thought to myself as the worm wriggled through my eye socket
having played its part in returning me to humus
A dying field mouse was the catalyst
For the tears turning to diamonds
Under the pressure of unrelease
An apologetic surrendering
To my failure to be a hero
My humanity drifting me apart
A wedge between me and my kind
A bridge I can’t cross
To look you in the eyes
And become a part of the rat race
I despise
That mouses black beady eyes
The abyss I looked into
Forever looking back
I am sorry little mouse
I couldn’t bring you peace
in your darkest hours
as you bid your long arduous goodbye.
Is there anywhere I can be someone else
I’m tired of being wrapped up
in myself
but I’ve seen out there
and seen the earth laid bare
it’s too much for me
all I see is death
looking back at me
mirroring my decisions and indecisions
falling into the abyss
of those eye sockets
I saw myself in the abyss of someone else
and I can’t turn away.
Strip my skeleton bare of this flesh
in which this toxicity is enmeshed
The smiling irony
of the skeleton underneath
Survival instinct is my enemy
he’s always there when I try to be free
there was a moment when I thought
the end would come
but he kicked out
and I survived another fight
My survival instinct is my enemy
why won’t he listen to these thoughts in my head
I want to be returned to the earth again
silverbackgorillapoetry.com 