All these thoughts in my head.

You’ve made me into a person I don’t recognise
And I can’t remember who I was before
I just read previous enteries in my journals
And see someone elses writing
I think you killed him
I’ve had versions of me killed before
And when I think I’ve started to become someone again
You rub more salt in the still open wound
And I find myself losing sight of a self again
It hurts too much
And it feels pathetic
To hurt so much because of someone like you
I wish I was stronger
That pillar of strength I always used to talk about.
The man with a steady walk extending to steady mind
A man you could imagine in suit and tie
Even when wearing jogging pants
Because he just oozes that grace
Of a man who knows he’s found his own way
I think of this, until i remember that analogy in my head
Of ties being like nooses around downtrodden, broken men
I’ve got no use trying to look like a buisness man
And I’m angry and like a dog with a bone
I just can’t let these things go
You’re the tie around my neck
A noose that goes unchecked
And they all think I’ll be okay
Its all about keeping you quiet for just one day
To them
They don’t care
About what they don’t see
Inside my head
Like a damp cellar
No one goes into
All the while the monster is growing
And one day soon
He’s going to break out
I can feel it
But I know I’ll be his first victim.

Pest control.

You’ve got something of mine
It’s all of my time
Running round my head
I wish you’d leave me alone instead
But you’ve took up residence
In the walls of my brain
And I’m trying to flush you out
Again.

I need pest control
To get you out
Of my head
Where you devour
The walls i’ve made
Trail blazing through the maze
Of my neuro network
Firing synapses
Turning into thoughts
Of you
And all the shit you’ve done
What have you done?

Anger and rage
Consume me again
Trying to be the better one
But that don’t mean nice
Thinking up vengence
but then feeling wrong for such a vice

What have you done?
What have i become?

Am I falling into a monster
Because of you?
Am I becoming
Just like you?

Homo sapiens should change their name

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As i walk among you hairless apes (you’re not actually hairless though) I come to realise you have been classified wrong asĀ Homo sapiens.

Homo (man) Sapiens (wise)

But you’re hardly wise. And I got a much more fitting name for you Homo Contradictus

For what I have noticed is that you’re all walking contradictions.

Oh don’t shoot me, I’m a walking contradiction too. But I’m a gorilla and haven’t been named as the ‘wise’ ones.

Enjoy your new species name, it fits better.

We are mirrors

We are mirrors
Projecting onto one another
Can you bring me back from the brink of hell
Reject me from myself

Anothers eyes
Are mirrors to your soul
You won’t find another
In the gaze of the man
Just yourself
Wishing you were someone else

If you wish to know yourself
Look at someone else
And if they look back
They’ll see themselves

Everyone is an abyss
If you look long enough
They’ll stare back at you