All these thoughts swim
Till they run
Merging and
Words become undone
Falling away
Somewhere hidden
The thoughts gone
But the feelings remain
Without a name
And then a new thought
Falls into view
Only to fall away
Before you really knew
And the feeling grows
But the words, you do not know
And you wonder
Something
Somewhere
The letters of the thoughts
R
u
n
n
i
n
g
.
.
.
.
writing
Chills to the bones
Empty promises ricochet
Between the stone walls
The sound of squeaking shoes
On polished floors
Haunting this place
Full of laughter and evil
Paint on the walls
Dripping with humiliation
Seeped through all the years
A stain on hearts and minds
A reminder that life
Chills to the bones
The lady in the black
Still… I sit
Against the wind
And I wish I could
Sit against it all
Water off a ducks back
Withstand every fall
Without falling to the black
But the whispers of the dark
Always beckon me back
And I know her well
So I’m always one word away
From being under her spell
I’ve tried meditation
All the fucking medication
Tried to find my philosophy
But I always come back
To the lady in the black
A blade on the skin
Feels better than the happiness
That never seems to sink in
Or the confidence
That never existed from within
Shedding skin
Till I’m nothing
It’s the only thing
That I find comforting
When the lady in black
Finds me running back
Bull in a china shop
I’ll let the bull out of his cage
But you won’t like what’s been contained
All this time pacing between this space
And the time that’s accumulated all this rage
Little bombs waiting to be engaged
Trying to be a better man
Wearing the face of calm
A monstrosity
Contorting inside
With years of screams
Creasing the faces
Pulling lips open by the seams
When am I gonna learn
That keeping bulls in cages
Makes it worse
And like a porcelain doll
I am broken….
I am done.
Infestation
My body is a casket
for breath
Another breath in
And out
Emptiness encroaching
Like cockroaches
Always surviving
through the momentary fulfillment
meant to demolish
sadness
My body a casket
awaiting death.
Life. We mourn.
Life.
A catalyst for loss.
All said
We’re trinkets of absences
Trying to remember
Those we mourn
Birds.
The way they run
Then hop
Screech
Then quark
Between the trees
Peering between the leaves
Going back in time
In the glint in their eyes
Reaching out
To time gone by
A flash of a dinosaur
in the blink of an eye.
We’re all sheep
Follow who you may
But don’t tell us you’re the ones wide awake
You’re still following what another shepherd says
Underneath we’re all the fucking same
Smiling under skin
That bears our shame
We’re all sheep
That the androids dream of
In their sleep
An accumulation of things
I‘m standing in the hallway
I forget why
Looking between the doors
At the walls that try to contain
This accumulation
Of thought
And all bought
A place that can’t contain me
Yet still stands.
Sadness enveloped in each room
Permeating an existence
Empty and cruel
With screens to look into
And forget this hell on earth
We all bought into
No room left for rebirth
Tattoos & Scars
We tattoo and mark or shame
Hoping symbols
Will communicate
The things we cannot say.
