I breathe in the toxicity
But never the antidote
Because I’m immune
And I’ve got words writhing
Like flies caught in a web
Tongue tied
Into silence
while these monsters
run rampant in my head
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Thanks.
Precious illusions
are the essence
of every good religion
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Zephry will conform herself around you
Whispering the worlds indifference.
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You are the catalyst
Weaving notions on my skin
I get lost in my emotional paralysis
Till the sentiments sink in
Then comes the anguish
With logic on my shoulder
Playing devils advocate
But I can’t listen to him
Because to my heart
time doesn’t exist
And there just isn’t enough time
to resist.
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A ribbon of smoke billowed an apology between them
Hostility temporarily suspended
As they eyed one another from behind their cherry lit ends
the deer head peered upon the silence
that smeared the air between them
The saxophone mere white noise
unable to penetrate the moment
Only turning their heads from one another
to watch her feet burdened in high heels
as she walked towards the one she chose
which wasn’t either of them
Their nostrils flared
and behind gritted teeth they faked pleasantries
Before taking it outside in the street
Noses cracked and busted lips
Hatred snaking through cigarette mist
Till the bobby comes on the beat
To resume assumed peace
They question your sanity
But never question mine
Because they always think I’ll be alright
And I think one day they may be proven wrong
But for now they think I only *think* i’m not strong
I say I can’t cope
They say I can, they say I’m coping right now
Even if I don’t think I am
Well they don’t see into my mind
They don’t know the pressure behind my eyes
The way it makes me strain
The way I can’t take the pain
The way I’ve got ideas and thoughts in my head
Driving me insane
They don’t see the hands going through my hair
My head bowed down as I try to pull through my despair
They don’t hear my screams
As I hold it inside
Till one day it all burts from my lips
And the world hears
But then I go silent again
And the world moves on
without a clue
While these little thoughts
Like spiders create these webs in my mind
And I could try to explain
But there are no words I could say
Because when I try it’s never enough
And that’s why there is only one solution that comes to mind
The ultimate expression
Of this pain inside…..
Suspended
On the brink of surrender
To the anger that blinks
Using breath as your anchor
Trying to step back, unthink
Watching your words
Like butterlies caged in your mouth
Waiting, biding your time
Keeping the bulls in their cages
Till the red flag can fly
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