The night was different shades of black with gold specs, and the moon was a silver goddess shining brightly onto the world when she left.
A fleeting love that died like the wilted roses of winter as snow blinkered all our colours in white.
The train came at 21:05, and that was that gone in a haze she was just a face staring back from a window with a tear writing sadness upon her cheek.
The snow of winter turned grey as it was muddied by the boots of people trudging their days away mindlessly while I noticed every little wish unfulfilled in the stars.
A plane shot through my vision, pointing as if it was going to the moon, a trail behind it that is poison in its own polluting way.
It occurred to me then that life itself was pollution, everything was spinning on this globe, and everything was interacting within it.
Yet we pulled ourselves outside of it with our distractions and words, but I know now it was only ever an illusion.
That we are the earth, as are the birds and the other beasts that share this world.
And the train shook on the tracks, our goodbyes said only in our staring eyes as the train rushed past, and I knew I’d never see her again.
yet she was still the earth as was I, even after the train tracks drew a divide between us
I didn’t yet know if that was comforting or all the more painful.
These goodbyes always feel like the end of the world, still, it turns, but somehow it doesn’t always help to remember that fact.
Our emotions never could stick to the notion of calendars and diary planners sometimes, an anniversary feels too quick in the heart and loss too long in the dark.
Neither of us waved, our eyes blinking through the sadness that words couldn’t express.
My eyes took a picture of her face in the window while it never left; it fades as the days go by, her absence getting more noticeable with every feature lost in the memory.
It seems to me absence is a lot like a cockroach
nothing can kill these beasts
love
Heartbroken: sorry
Send a message to the world
Whisper in her ears
Let my care for her be heard
I need her to know
She’s my best friend
And i’m so sad to see her go
Send a message to the world
Let her know i’m looking out for her
Tell her that even though i’m not there
I will always care
And if I could, i’d be everywhere
Just so I could be with her.
Send a message to the world
I’m sorry for how we parted
Tell her, I love her.
Silence
The arrival…
Of footfalls…
The birds singing…
Wilting flowers
In the funeral home
That breath …
Sighed…
That lingering goodnight kiss
Remembered.
Footsteps…
R
e
c
e
d
i
n
g…
Each silence has it’s own sound
Lipstick
Always on the wrong side of love
It’s been a while
Since you could take it all in
With your lipstick manufactured crimson smile
You can wipe away
The mistakes you kissed
Lipstick stains left on the ruins of us
A mistake we made
We no longer trust
And with your lipstick manufactured crimson smile
You erase
The way we loved
And with your lipstick manufactured smile
I’m the mistake
You wipe away
At the end of the night
You take your painted lips
Wrap them up in paper tulips
Forgetting the nights you let slip
The words on your tongue
That kissed
“Nothing to regret it’s just a kiss,
just a kiss”
“I was thinking of you
I promise this
I promise you this.”
No more frogs, no more prince
You said you want to rewild
Want to be free
And I told you
Freedom doesn’t exist
You’ll soon see
You’re chasing a myth
The immortal fight
A ribbon of smoke billowed an apology between them
Hostility temporarily suspended
As they eyed one another from behind their cherry lit ends
the deer head peered upon the silence
that smeared the air between them
The saxophone mere white noise
unable to penetrate the moment
Only turning their heads from one another
to watch her feet burdened in high heels
as she walked towards the one she chose
which wasn’t either of them
Their nostrils flared
and behind gritted teeth they faked pleasantries
Before taking it outside in the street
Noses cracked and busted lips
Hatred snaking through cigarette mist
Till the bobby comes on the beat
To resume assumed peace
Throwback Thursday: Twisted love
Written in 2015
The original:
Your kiss like a blade upon my skin
Naked before you, you delve deeper into my wounds
I don’t know if this is love or hate
But I can’t seem to walk away
I know I should run
But your eyes cut me down to size
I’m not big enough to take the road
I’m just a scared boy inside
Waging a war behind elusive eyes
And your ice cold kiss lays me down for the night
In my ice cold tomb where a soldier lost his fight
And your finger tips like knives
Cut across my skin
Full of sex and full of life
And your ice blue eyes are the only thing keeping me cold at night
This frost is a lesson learnt
And upon a body of curves I trace your skin
Like it’s a map of life
We hold on tight, waiting, hoping, wanting
For a fire to ignite.
Written 2018
Edited version:
Your kiss like a blade upon my skin
Naked before you, I stand betrayed
Cigarettes burning us to ash
I know I should run
But I’m just a scared boy inside
Waging war behind these eyes
Your ice cold kiss lays me down for the night
In my ice cold tomb where a soldier lost his fight
And your finger tips like knives
Cut my skin
And upon a body of curves I trace your skin
Like it’s a map of life
Holding on tight, waiting, hoping, wanting
For a fire to ignite.
Which one is better? Original or Edited?
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New posts on Tuesdays
Remains
They wrote their love on trees
A love to last beyond themselves
Blurring the boundaries
Between yesterday night
Hands within hands
With diamonds on fingers
An avalanche of aftermaths
Falling like leaves in autumn time
A run in the woods
An uncovering of words
Slipped on landslides
A deer frozen
In the lights
Freezing all these stories
Into snowflakes, intertwining
And the tree still remains.
L.O.V.E H.A.T.E
You kissed me on the lips
With your fist
How did we get into this tryst
Writing scripts and drawing battleships
Our love written on knuckles
With the letters H.A.T.E
How long will we rock this ship
Courting resentment
Revulsion will marry us
Till death do us part
This love will carry us
Further into the dark
unrequited love
My love has no potential
Trapped in my heart
Only the sky and I
Strictly confidential
Loving you from afar
I love you
It hurts
Take my breath away
Let me die in your arms
Dowse me in your scent
Unburden me
From this torment
© Silverbackgorillapoetry 2016 Sept
If you’re new to this blog, how did you find me?
I won’t love
I won’t love a woman to oblivion
I’ll love her just enough
But mark my words
It’s gonna be rough
A part of your soul has to die
To hold in that kind of love
© silverbackgorilla poetry 2016 August