Make history if you can’t make kids… I don’t know why

4444476398_ce3bc30f7d

I recall a night back when I used to frequent a support chat room when I got to talking to someone who was questioning their entire existence and point of living. Their issue was(without going into details as to the why) the chance of them reproducing offspring were at best extremely minimal, at worse zero chance. They suggested that this meant that there wasn’t a reason for them to continue. “If a person doesn’t leave behind a bloodline what is their point,” is mostly what their argument entailed. On that very night for reasons unfathomable to me, because I’m often the most pessimistic, grumpy little fucker there is, I came out with this(not exactly these words it was a while ago): “You don’t need to leave your DNA behind if you can make history.”

I think I knew what I meant at the time I said it, within the context of the entire conversation. Now that my memory is hazy, I can’t say I really know what I meant.

Perhaps I meant that he should go out there and become so famous he would be forever written into textbooks for generations to come, or maybe I meant it in a much more subtle way. Make history with those you come into contact with, spreading your metaphorical seed in peoples minds, perhaps that is a way to ‘reproduce’ without those pesky, grubby kids running around like the maniacs they are.

I don’t know what I meant. But for some reason from time to time, this memory comes back to me, and I remember saying that and then I wonder what the hell I thought when I said it, I know I was in a hyperactive, fighting frame of mind but that is all I can remember.

Perhaps you have some ideas as to what I could have meant?

I, The consumer

4444476398_ce3bc30f7d

 

“It’s a happy pursuit, the inscription of oneself” – Dr Haggard from Dr Haggard’s disease by Patrick Mcgrath 

When I hear humans describe ‘consumerism’, I imagine nostrils flaring as things get sucked as they inhale and consume.

Such an ugly word Consumerism. Yet I guess it’s an appropriate term. The idea of being a ‘consumer’ consumes me with repulsion.

I picture plastic bottles being squeezed in sync with a human sigh of desperation for more.

I went through a phase where I’d listen to podcasts about topics that essentially amounted to the politics of consumerism and ‘consumerist’ rights. I always felt a twinge of discomfort when I heard them say the words, “We the consumers”, or “Our consumerist rights” because all that played in my imagination was a reel where peoples nostrils opened up and consumed without thought.

The irony is that by listening to a podcast about these things, I was consuming media they produced and so my own nostrils were doing the same thing.

And that is what repulses me the most in the end, that no matter how much I hate the idea, I am a consumer! What I’ve often found ironic about people like myself who shit on the idea of so-called ‘consumerism’ is that we’re often just as much a consumer as everyone else. You see it behind these peoples back on their youtube videos while they talk about the ills of society and this wretched world of the constant need for ‘goods’.Yet behind them, they’ll have a mess of nonsense stuff that comes to no use whatsoever other than for aesthetic purposes.
But perhaps I’m expecting too much on the part of people who see the ills of this world while also taking part in it.

It’s something I find myself doing a lot when on the youtubes. I find it absolutely fascinating to see the interior of the room they’re filming in, the objects they have on their shelves and the things they have hung on their walls. Some of them like to make it appear as if they just simply put their camera on and roll with it, but I suspect even they take some care as to what can be seen in the background.

To some extent, i guess I idealise the idea of merely leaving society and going off-grid, living in a log cabin and ultimately having that self-sufficiency to survive on one’s own without help.
Unfortunately, I’m not deluded enough to believe I could manage this feat. The woods aren’t wheelchair friendly for one, or very friendly to anyone who uses walking aids for that matter, not to mention all the medication I need just to be alive.

I guess I am just another consumer after all.

Society loves…..

4444476398_ce3bc30f7d

Society loves to protect women.

Retribution towards those who are perceived to be ‘harmful’ towards women is the highest ‘honour.’

Some may perceive this post as harmful and outright reject what I’m saying because pointing out potential flaws in our current narrative that supposidly men and society as a whole ‘hates women’ is seen as ‘harmful.’

GP: Of sheep and shepherds

GP = Gorilla philosophises
You turn to like minded men & women and then you point over in our direction and say, “Look at them following the herd.” And I turn to my herd and I say, “Look at them, they don’t know they’re in a herd.”

They can’t see that the clouds they follow are sheep.

And they think that what lays ahead of their shepherd is a field of freedom to which he is leading them, but up ahead there is always another shepherd.

Suffering creates character….

4444476398_ce3bc30f7d

And isn’t it this train of thought that is the problem?

There is an element of truth to it, for sure. But I see all these people competing who suffered the most, and I wonder if this idea of being heroic and suffering to create character is part of the problem? Not that I have a solution, just that it’s a problem I’ve recognised in the human condition. I get the sense some humans feel they haven’t suffered enough, though it seems counterintuitive to want more suffering it seems like people are jealous of people who have gained ‘character’ from suffering.

If I can be oppressed (or claim to be oppressed), then I have something to fight (or something to claim to be fighting).

The paradox in all this? There is suffering in the conquest for more ‘worthy’ suffering…..