My Budgie Wrote A Poem For You To Read

I must let you know I am as big as tyrannosaurs rex
Except smaller

What it is, you see, is this
billions of years folded me into this frame
But rest assured I am as big as he, the mighty King!
So be humbled and kneel before my beastly beak!
Hah! How my servant doth think that I dont know how sharp it is!
Why, I sharpen it upon eventide
Whilst your eyelids flutter with the butterflies that weave your velveteen dreams!
So once more I must charge you
Be humbled on thy knees
before my beastly beak!

Matt’s note:

I am humbled before him, and he shall shit wherever he shall please, even if means it is on me!

Oh, Mighty king, hold mine heart and feel it beat upon this night in pulsing fear  and thus self-effacing before you I kneel, and any comaplaint of mine herewith withdrawn for you are my King and ever I am in service to you, rest assure I will bring to you the feast of dawn, when sol doth rise upon her perch.

Toad-faced weasel

O bellowing cows lowing ‘ere in our ‘eads
these painted visions upon the glass do beckon
A sirens call did rend the air
Whilst toad-faced weasels reckon
sellin’ us our woeful woes
And woe betide the eagle looking right to us
While that toad-faced weasel smiles
with pockets full
And in his mouth death does grin with tombstone teeth beetlin’
from putrid gums
that bismirch our politics
Between the stench of his teeth
writhes the lore he does scribe
each word a curse upon our little island

And it has been said we are the sheep
if not with the angry herd
that stampede
and fly the flags for patriotic passion
But from me, one lowly sheep
I am telling you
That I can smell the bullshit.

Authors note:

I apologise to any toads and weasels for using their likeness as an insult.

The Keyhole Spy

Wherefore! i has’t scrumbl’d mine own scridgets searchin’ f’r that keyhole spy
i has’t seen bef’re, his malevolent seekin’ eye!
azure as the beastly heavens
That roof our heads
is yond bluest abyss that sits within his cav’rnous pits
many a m’rn has’t i awoken with grumbl’d gumption
how i shouldst calleth this ang’r quits
but th’re upon mine own beadin’ sweat of brow i scrumble up a fetchin’ frown
findin’ nay whimsy to yond spid’ry fiend and the webs that he hast and yet to weaveth!

Anxiety

The world is drawn in rough squiggles of lines that giggle through the grape vines that intertwine my mind
a blurred map of lingering torment overrun with anxious flotsam
squiggle squiggle
so anxious the world is topsy turvy barley a picture to be drawn thats worthy
My hands wont be still
I’m all frowsy and nervy
A deer in the headlights
My feet pitter patter like the rain
They all tek it for granted that i’m jus’ prancin’ and dancin’
But heart to heart
Its all restless edge
flowin’ down to me loosey goosey feet
Am not a tap dancer, i am neurosis on legs
Maybe bordering on psychosis
Its hard to tell out here on the ledge
I dont want a ladder
Or a rope
I’ll jump off, maybe, tomorrow
But my hearts got the jitterbug
And my ‘eads got me swingin’ be the ears
Stretching ’em out too far now all i can do is bloody listen
There is music in my ribs
Wind chimes and xylophones
I can hear the river in my veins gushin’
My bladder fillin’
A rush o’ blood to the ‘ead
funny how it makes ya feel dead
Inside this caccoon of dread
Makes you notice your eyes in your sockets
Painting pictures
If only i could paint real nice
Instead of this horrorshow in my minds eye!

A Rambling Book Review: Stephen King as Richard Bachman, The Long Walk

A small amount of spoilers for anyone who wishes to read the book or watch the new film. You have been warned.

I have read this before, and it’s one of those books I always remembered, so I decided to reread it. It started with me thinking that maybe I had misremembered how good it was. I wasn’t quite geling with it like I had remembered, but I persevered through the first few chapters, and I was drawn in again. It’s somehow very readable, even as it disturbs somewhat.

The Long Walk seems to be a metaphor for life, how we each fear death to varying degrees, and we hear and see other people have died, yet we have to continue with life regardless. Despite seeing and hearing of those around us who have died through the years, a lot of us spend time with the intellectual knowledge that we will one day die, yet emotionally, we often don’t quite believe it. It’s a weird cognitive dissonance I’ve observed in myself and others. This whole story seems to be an exercise in that fight inside our heads, that fear and panic at the knowledge of our death and how often to defeat that fear and panic, we bumble along and emotionally soothe ourselves.

This was readily observable in 2020 during the height of the pandemic. While people were dying, there were discussions on TV shows and YouTube videos about how the people most at risk were those with ‘underlying health issues. ‘ People would say things like, ‘I’m not too worried about Covid because I’m healthy.’ People said this a lot, and I kept thinking to myself, ‘I guess if they repeat it, they feel better about the uncertainty.’ People spoke of this with an element of pride in their supposed health status, but underneath it, as callous as it appeared, they were soothing themselves, because it could potentially be them, and deep down, I think a lot of them knew it.
Every time the new death count came on the news, people all consoled themselves that they hadn’t caught it yet, or they caught it and it felt like a common cold! Then you have the other people who got on a train from conspiracy station, anything to make their potential death a more controllable outcome. If it’s a conspiracy, then this virus isn’t real; actually, the whole thing was planned. Things are easier if everything is controllable by human hands. Even if controlled by evil humans, at least it was humans, and if evil humans had control, then good humans could regain control. If the virus isn’t real, then those invisible things that can make us feel bad, or cause chronic illness or indeed kill us, aren’t real.

I’ve had conversations before with people, talking about someone who has just died, and the person will say something like, ‘Well, he did have heart issues.’ Yeah, he may well have, but that doesn’t mean death won’t find you, too.

The character Stebbins seemed to be doing just fine, no warnings, not till the end, yet he didn’t win, did he?

Olson continued for a long time, despite appearing like the dead walking; some of the seemingly fittest walkers got their ticket not because of a physical setback, but because they went crazy.

That’s another thing life does to you: it can drive you crazy, and if it doesn’t drive you crazy, you may well have been born crazy so that you wouldn’t know the difference.

Then you had the crowd congealing into one mass face of the monster created by the Frankenstein-esque mediascape that promoted such a bloody dystopian idea, and how they felt joy and cheered on the bloody deaths.

Seems familiar. There is something in the human psyche that, when congealed together as one mass, they become monstrous entities controlled no longer by individuals but by a baser surge of bloodlust.

I enjoyed reading this book; Stephen King is a very hit-or-miss author with me. This is one of the hits.

I Have Been Human

I have been victim
I have been villain
I have been kind
I have been cold
Young and old before time graced my bones
I have tried
But not all the time
I have lied
But also spoken truth
I have been ‘only human’
Just like you
But now I will be tried
Before mob rule.

Authors note:

Mob rule is looking for scapegoats. Politics is shifting to extremes. Minorities are the canaries in the coal mines. The scapegoats.

That’s what this poem is about. Humans. Humanity. The humanity that some people, some who are in power, want to take away.

Exercising my writing muscles to get back into the flow

Using words of the day for inspiration the following was written

If only I could succumb
to the lagom of swirling leaves
be as free as that which glides effortless to sleepy death where hollows don’t know their depth
where no words drew abyss
into which to peer
For the endless dark matters none here
It just is, it just is, my dear
Whispers the crunch of leaves under feet of deer