Metamorphosis: A clown devours itself

“First, the caterpillar digests itself”

 

I ate the butterbyes
That turned into goodbyes
And hydrated me
As such water began to flow
From my tear ducks
Rolling down my nemesis
The face in which the clown I have become
For such folly, I have done
Trying to fold myself
Into a butterfly
Using butter and knife
With no wings to fly

 

 

*Ducks is not a typo

Red

I’m in a whimsical dream
Where a House Sparrow is eating a raspberry
Wearing a top hat and monocle over his left eye
A twirly moustache above his beak
Plotting revenge against his brother
Who put beef in an apple pie
And a blue tit in a tabard
Fighting off potential suitors to his beloved
And a nerdy looking Robin cursing the Blackbird
For eating his book worms
“Stop eating the book worms!” He cries

And then a nightmare looms over
Like clouds in the sky
Shadowing over the scene
A human bean
Throwing toxic waste
In a stream
All silence takes hold
And even though the sun is out
A sudden chill turns all wings to doubt
Suspended in motion
As gun shots clamour
A reminder that nature isn’t glitz and glamour
An apex predator stampeding
With machines and light beams
Rubbish taking over green scenes
Till all appears obsolete
A crescendo of footsteps
Out of blocks of concrete

Birds flocking together
Their beady eyes
Wandering and observing
From up high
Alarm calls trill
As they forget their beef
For a moment of togetherness
As one species defined only by ‘bird’
Protecting one another
For this moment of war
Till peace time resumes
Red in tooth and claw

If you liked this post you may also like my short story hereĀ 

And if you specifically like birds and also enjoy weird humour you may like my short story here

The Rose of Jericho

The internet has become white noise
Constantly there inside our heads
Beckoning voices
Of all dissenting opinions
Facts and alternative ‘facts’
Politics, politics
Fucking politics
So much, “I’m right, you’re left”
Handing weapons to one another
Via the mishandling of language
Everyone an expert
In things they know none
The age of ignorance
Not information
Snowballing into oblivion
All these voices
Becoming a life of their own
Rolling till they find their hold
Ressurecting themselves like the rose of jericho
Casting aside all the things we’ve come to know
To gather together and say the same old shit
In bubbles all our own
The illusion of connection
Making us feel wordly
Mass delusions of grandeur
Another selfie to look happy, happy, happy!
Projecting images of who we think we ought to be
And projecting onto one another
The parts of us we hate to see
I’m good, you’re bad.
I’m moral, you’re sick
I’m strong, you’re weak
I’m never offended
I’m offended by everything
No more middle ground

The internet is nuanced
But your bubbles not.

All these thoughts in my head.

You’ve made me into a person I don’t recognise
And I can’t remember who I was before
I just read previous enteries in my journals
And see someone elses writing
I think you killed him
I’ve had versions of me killed before
And when I think I’ve started to become someone again
You rub more salt in the still open wound
And I find myself losing sight of a self again
It hurts too much
And it feels pathetic
To hurt so much because of someone like you
I wish I was stronger
That pillar of strength I always used to talk about.
The man with a steady walk extending to steady mind
A man you could imagine in suit and tie
Even when wearing jogging pants
Because he just oozes that grace
Of a man who knows he’s found his own way
I think of this, until i remember that analogy in my head
Of ties being like nooses around downtrodden, broken men
I’ve got no use trying to look like a buisness man
And I’m angry and like a dog with a bone
I just can’t let these things go
You’re the tie around my neck
A noose that goes unchecked
And they all think I’ll be okay
Its all about keeping you quiet for just one day
To them
They don’t care
About what they don’t see
Inside my head
Like a damp cellar
No one goes into
All the while the monster is growing
And one day soon
He’s going to break out
I can feel it
But I know I’ll be his first victim.

Pest control.

You’ve got something of mine
It’s all of my time
Running round my head
I wish you’d leave me alone instead
But you’ve took up residence
In the walls of my brain
And I’m trying to flush you out
Again.

I need pest control
To get you out
Of my head
Where you devour
The walls i’ve made
Trail blazing through the maze
Of my neuro network
Firing synapses
Turning into thoughts
Of you
And all the shit you’ve done
What have you done?

Anger and rage
Consume me again
Trying to be the better one
But that don’t mean nice
Thinking up vengence
but then feeling wrong for such a vice

What have you done?
What have i become?

Am I falling into a monster
Because of you?
Am I becoming
Just like you?