Keeping bulls in cages

In my resistance
these thoughts become more insistent
restraining these feelings
Acting in the moment
Before you can clearly see things
And so much for all this talk of empathy
And being sold ideals
Of no anger
yet the more I don’t allow
The bull a little run
The more angry it becomes
Raging even before the storm
All because I hold too tight
In the hopes I could contain it
But it’s almost killed me, so many nights
Restraining bulls
In cages

Suffering creates character….

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And isn’t it this train of thought that is the problem?

There is an element of truth to it, for sure. But I see all these people competing who suffered the most, and I wonder if this idea of being heroic and suffering to create character is part of the problem? Not that I have a solution, just that it’s a problem I’ve recognised in the human condition. I get the sense some humans feel they haven’t suffered enough, though it seems counterintuitive to want more suffering it seems like people are jealous of people who have gained ‘character’ from suffering.

If I can be oppressed (or claim to be oppressed), then I have something to fight (or something to claim to be fighting).

The paradox in all this? There is suffering in the conquest for more ‘worthy’ suffering…..