NaPoWriMo: this is a thing I just wrote

There is a dash between your words
leaving me hanging
don’t you know I’m clinging onto every syllable?
You lost me my mind
I’ve looked in lost property
there are too many brains in there
undefined
unlabeled
how can I know which is mine?

Who left that one shoe
did they even notice as they hobbled home?
It makes no sense.
I’m talking nonsense
because you’ve got me by a thread
barley hanging on

I wish I wasn’t like this,
this thing inside my head
That noises the still
in frantic efforts to be upkept
combing through the beard
trying to hide my unkempt mind

My brain wasn’t drawn right
cartoonistic endurance
physics of thought
kicking me into yesterdays yesterday
eyes bulging out
my heart leaping out of my mouth
lungs blown all out of proportion
by cigarettes I passively smoked
anothers cancer in communion
with anyone else it can be around to choke

If I sit myself still, the mind might sit too
but I think it might just spill
a whole upsurge of ruin
the skeletons of time killed

NaPoWriMo: Pushing through

Living and breathing
pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
when death should come
Pushing through anxiety
like a mother pushes out babies
One breath, two breath,
fuck that
I’m here death!
I’m done running
chasing my next breath
one breath, two breath
Fuck that
Eat me, death!

Put my hands in the soil
my fingers worming through roots
touching death
teeming with life
humus is humorous
two shades
one called death, one called life
different shades of each
50 shades of life
remember, can you remember why the strife?
No, not that, the other one
I’ve got plenty, but not a wife!

I thought I thought a thought
that strangled breath
Something about the traffic
of things
an accumulation
Too much, too many
fuck, too many wires
no wonder I’m so fucking wired
Chasing electricity
electrified
terrified
One breath, two breath
three breath
Pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
One breath, two breath
a wall of bricks with wires
tongue tied, tongue lied
Remember, can you remember
the one very specific thing I thought I thought?

NaPoWriMo: Alone sparrows

I’ve got a teenage forehead
but the rest of me has aged
I look pretty funny
but I never claimed to be anything but this mismatched man
if God is real I guess me being whole wasn’t part of the plan
God must’ve thought I could live on the edges
but look around
they’re all fenced up
ask yourself where are the birds and the hedges?
Does a bird mistake a fence for a hedge?
No, he knows.

It’s me alone with the sparrows.