Another shimmer
the lamplight glimmers
my back turned from the world
my face contorted to hold the pain
a surge of resistance
falling to its insistence
moments like this
the thorns of anxiety drop away
any way this ends
is release, either way.
chronic illness
Day 21: Prism
My breath was a triangle
shaping me into a prism
a contortionist
contorting to comfort
within discomfort
the pain a backrest
in which to rest my head
a backdrop of tidal waves
to slowly tread
Advent calendar 4: No face
4th December
I saw myself erased in their minds
a faint memory imprinted
but with no face
just an intuition
of something remembered
a vague hollow nothing
that couldn’t be returned
Sickness consumes my days
Nausea is consuming my days. I can’t eat and I can’t not eat. I can’t do a damn thing. It just happens every single fucking day. It’s a really niggling sickness that feels like it’s right the depths of my stomach. I come online between the waves of it, when it feels a little less niggling. It gets to to be i feel so bad I’m literally trembling with what feels like a massive surge of absaloute weakness taking on all my limbs, especially my legs.
Fuck. I feel like giving up my meds to see if one of them is irritating my stomach. But can I even deal with what would come from not taking them?
I’m getting close to giving up my anti-depressants. Yea you think i’m miserable git on them? wooooahhh boy you wanna see me off them. Seriously.