Author: Matt

Sunday wordle: I will not linger (Or perhaps I will I can’t seem to help myself.)

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I will not linger in the storms you pass
That’s a lie, I know I will
all the signs are there
or rather torn apart
that you’ve been through
and I’m sick of you
and myself
because you leave carnage in your wake
some subtle some not so
and I always chase after these feelings
and afterthoughts
anger tinged with sadness
but I prefer the anger
till I do something rash
then I regret how I left myself
drifting in your storm
you cast a spell on my mind
treading through your footprints
knowing you’re always one step ahead
always watching
I can’t afford sympathy for you anymore
Probably neither the anger
but in your storms, I drift
and in my mind you fritter away my thoughts

Day 18 Anti heroes

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Odd socks
taped up glasses
a walking cliché
in cigarette legged jeans
another superhero
he will see by any means
Marvel at this specimen
just another cheap hero on silver screen
it’s all the damn same
all the damn same to me
another man saving the world
from men dressed up as other things
to hide the fact that
humans are the anti-heroes
this is a mass extinction
a holocaust of anything that doesn’t look like you or me

Day 17 Beast

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The mist smeared the day
in a haze
the leaves licked at me
morning dew
slipped like silk
onto my skin
The sun just rising beyond
and delirious
with my pursuit
I thought I felt the earth
breathe underneath my feet
I could hear it’s stomach churning
the worms ready to feast
The world itself a beast
and I just a mere mite crawling
matted in it’s fur
and reliant upon it’s skin
not something to be messed with.

Films and books with emotionally numb characters

Matt1 Comment

I’ve seen a fair few films that all merge into one big reel so I can’t really go through film titles. And I’ve read a fair few books with this kind of narrative too.

The main character is relatable with their grumpiness (at least to me) they’re emotionally closed off, numb often depressed characters who push the other characters away…

One thing they all have in common is that they end with this:

The character realises they want to live and that they are learning to ‘enjoy life’ and be in the moment more. Tha’s not what leaves me wondering, ‘why the fuck?’ though, it’s this bit… They always come to a conclusion that they want to live life to the full and part of doing that is feeling EVERYTHING there is to be felt, including painful moments, loss, grief. Cue montage of them going through all the different feels from amazed, happy, grief-stricken, adrenaline rush, crying, laughing etc….

And all I can think is, Why? Why would you want to feel all there is to feel? Why? On what part of this god forsaking world would anyone in their right mind want to feel all the things there are to feel?!


Grief? Nah, let’s just skip that! Yea?

Let’s become a psychopath!


It’s now that I end this post saying: fuck life. And in the words of Donald Trump (probably) Fuck it biggly!