A foghorn in the night
A mist descended
Forlorn misfortunes intended
Belief in love suspended in a noose
And the lighthouse bathes the shore in light
But you can’t see it For your plight
©May 2016 (I think)
Poetry
New york
I met god in a movie theatre
He kept shushing me
I walk along these new York streets
And the whoosh of cars keep hushing me
I met with mike from the Bronx
I said “Hello” and he cut me off
I went to the botanical garden
And all the flowers choked me
Allergens be damned in New York
I went to Staten Island
The coastline stifled me
I boarded the Staten Island ferry
The waters lulled me to sleep
I boarded a boat to Manhattan
The skyline overawed me
The ways of this world
Daunting me.
© 2016
New Shoes
Gonna get me a porkpie hat
Sit in new York and listen to jazz
Kick my feet back, relax
Just what the doctor ordered
When I get out of Alcatraz
He said
Get them new shoes
And wear ‘em in
Don’t listen to that gype
when they can’t handle your stripes
And remember young man
When they generalise
It may be true
But that’s your chance
To be an individual you!
So get on those damn new shoes
© 2016 May
The fuck
These are no thoughts
I can put a pencil to
I’m not sure I’m even thinking anymore
I’m just feeling things
Bad things
I thought I was thinking
For a moment
Only to find my mind was blank of words
And that my only thought was
“Where have all my thoughts gone”
I can’t describe to you
Why I feel the way I do
Because I have no thoughts
Attached to them anymore
I’m just walking around in a daze
Restless, but I don’t know why
Each moment I remember in a haze
Going outside at the crack of dawn
And back out every moment
And why? Fuck knows why
I feel like I want to cry
But I don’t even have tears
Guess even my rivers can run dry
I have nothing to say
It isn’t this and it isn’t that
Don’t you get it?
I can’t read anymore
Because the words just….
What? I can’t even remember that thought
Bereavement counselling?
No.
Loss is the last of my worries
Or is it
Fuck I don’t even know
I sit and you think I’m okay
He’s trying right
Cuz he’s sitting with us now
That’s what they think
That’s what I want them to think
But I’m not sure
Fuck it. Fuck what?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.fuck.
Fuck.
I think fuck might just be my only thought
Just a row of fucks
Though I’m not sure what fucks they are
If they’re given or received
If it’s that chilled ‘fuck it, man”
Or that agitated ‘FUCK’ screaming
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck
I drowning without flailing
Or maybe I am
But you can’t tell
No one can tell
No. I’m all alone in my own hell
And you all talk
Outside of me
And I just nod and speak words back
Like “yea” “no”
All the necessities
Of polite
But I’m not really sure I’m here
Or there
Or… Anywhere.
Oh fuck.
What will it take to make you realise
To the extent at which I have drowned.
Fuck. Fucking fuck, fuckity fuck
Jesus.
Hello?
You know what
I want to reach out
But I don’t
Cuz there is nothing
Anyone can say
Doesn’t matter who you are
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
Shit. What the fuck
I’m so confused
I’m all alone
No one can reach me
I can’t even reach myself
It’s 1 am. I think I might just go
And sit back out.
Love is what we choose
You don’t need to sit down To put on ya slip on shoes Hurry up We got a lotta dancing to do Shmoozing round these streets Romancing our dues The star lit canvas, is certainly our muse We don’t need to sing the heart break blues If love is what we choose © 2016 May
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Callus
Just a brown eyed boy Hiding under the brim of his hat Another goodbye So I’ve shed some skin Another callus on my soul © 2016 May
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On the cusp
Shielding my eyes from the sun I see you in that summer dress Who’d have thunk it The blue eyed girl whose heart I won and the brown eyed boy I’m always torn On the brink of sex and ruin Always just on the cusp from love © 2016 May
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Losing momentum
Losing momentum while you all gather like moths to a flame is the loneliest existence for no one knows your name © 2016 April
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Waiting room.
I’m not the best of men There is no hero Behind my eye sockets Unblinking to the aftermath Of human anguish Ready to take on the world Even if it hurts No. My body is just a derelict waiting room where a boy awaits Dressed in postman pat pj’s © 2016 April
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Fossil lumberjack
I want to go excavating For dinosaur bones Got my checkered shirt Camera too Though I might need to get some Better outdoor shoes They call me the fossil lumberjack Always was the nerd With dinosaur biscuits in his backpack Playing dinosaur trumps Till we lost or won Or maybe that was Just yesterday Don’t mistake me For a hipster Though I’m Still a kid at heart The cigarettes between my fingers The only sign of adulthood © 2016 April
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