Awaking to invitations
of indulgence
in humans favourite
Pastime
Smelling
Sweating
Enjoying
Reminiscing
Regretting
Fucking
A release
Life as an eunuch
Just isn’t worth the same
©Silverbackgorilla poetry June 2016
Poetry
Garden dinosaurs (birds)
Dwelling behind misted glass
Watching the birds
It’s dream like
Edges soft and a little blurred
Watching juvenile blue tits undeterred
By the goldfinch guarding its territory
Mrs Robin hopping from fence to shed
Her small stature disguising the terror she can unleash
Lest you dare to trespass upon her niche
Worms pulled like spaghetti from the ground by Mr Blackbird
And I’m just sitting, easy come and easy go
Don’t want to survive as they do
Fighting and flitting around
Got my own dangers
Even if they’re in my head
The little bug that buzzes in my brain
A tug of war between playing life or playing dead.
©Silverbackgorilla photography June 2016
Hair of the dog
Drinking myself undrunk
Stepping inside away from the street humdrum
Neon sign glows ‘no vacancy’
And she’s a shadow on my wall
Cigarette between fingers
High heels make her tall
Her breasts pert and nipples erect
TV in the corner whispers white noise
the sound that permeates the aftermath of every choice
The end of cigarettes glowing cancer
Between lips in which I hanker
Mouths pucker between rings of smoke
Kissing oblivion between strokes
A silhouette riding cowgirl
Making me blind
The aftermaths white noise
Behind neon and TV lights
Resting between her thighs
Listening to the humdrum outside
© Silverbackgorillapoetry June 2016
Humbled
I am humbled by the majesty
Of your presence
The simplicity in which you live
Feels like sand through fingers
So simple and complex all in one
The reflection of the world in your eyes
I could pretend the world felt alright
If I could just delve into your sights
Please don’t burden me with my soul
I cannot wear it
All alone.
© Silverbackgorillapoetry June 2016
I look to the eye of the storm
I look to the eye of the storm
Testing my nerves
Trying to be reborn
Do I take the blade
Or do I preserve
Praying to no one
Asking if I can put my life on reserve
Save me a seat
Which way to pull the trigger?
Do I wrap life around my middle finger
A fuck you to the mirror?
Put on my best suit
Stand tall and deliver
Grinning from ear to ear
When they shake my hand and say “Thank you, Mister”
Or do I turn the lights down
Bow out
Deliver my last will
Drinking liquor to wash down the pills
Forever relapsing
Spending years out of action
And with all these waves crashing
I don’t know which way to turn
Without collapsing
And, I’m looking into the eye of the storm
Testing my nerves
Trying to be reborn.
© June 2016
When words aren’t enough
words aren’t enough
But i’m locke in
And words are all I have
But they don’t quite deliver
The picture
I stand against the current
I stand against the current
Chiselled by the waves
Of storms gone by
Robust in my ability to pacify
The sky opening up
And I keep a weather eye
On all things corrupt
Lest they just pass me by
And zephyr says
She’s making a man out of me
Etching lines on my face like clay
“You’ll be the epitome of a man one day
All this in between? It’s just the price you pay”
© 2016 June
If I lose this war
If I lose this war
Please don’t wait at the door
I won’t be calling anymore
Nothing to say, nothing to do
Just want you to know
I’ll be sorry if I don’t make it through
© 2016 June
Look ya best, lads
Ya need a little zest
Put on ya hair gel
And thermal vest
Button up ya shirt
Make sure to look ya best!
Put on ya dancing shoes
Remember we’re only guests
We’re nothing important
So why get stressed?
Roll up ya sleeves and fight it out
Nothing to see, just a little fallout
When ya get arrested ya best friend will bail ya out
And when ya fucking the girl next door
Over the garden fence, he’ll be ya look out
That’s it lads, stand proud
What are we even worrying about
We’re nothing special
Nothing to shout about
God forbid you forgot to pullout
Now got one in the oven
Well done, ya bleeding boy scout!
Ya need a little zest
Put on ya best
Smile for the cameras
Pretend like ya feel blessed
Turn ya frown upside down
A change is as good as a rest!
Dupe yaself into passion
Let me see it in ya eyes
Diamonds in ya eyes are all the fashion
So come on
Get a little zest
Start by looking ya fuckin’ best!
© 2016 June
Poetry written just now, no edits (even no editing spelling mistakes, can’t be arsed)
Dear, someone i used to know
How is life treating ya?
Ah to be frank, I don’t care
I’m just in a weird mood
To be fair
I’m angsty
And you’re the one I want to target
You’ve just got that kind of face
Cuz I used to love it so
And now it just reminds me
Of all the dreams I had to let go
Then again
I’m learning about myself
And my heart was never in it
It’s never really been in anything
I thought it was in you
Like a seed growing roots
Turning to a tree
But then I realised
I’d never have moved to be closer to you
Like I’d put that much effort in, in the end
I’m all talk
No walk
You know it best
Thats probably one of the many reasons
You left
I don’t really blame you anymore
I’m over you in some sense
But in another way
You’re everything I thought I dreamed
So I guess a part of me still hankers after you
I’ve spent so long trying to make sense
Of how it ended, how you left
Told myself you were a bitch
A narcissist. And you know it’s probably a bit true
But not as much as I like to colour you
‘cuz see it’s moments like this
When I show my true colours
And I see that I’m probably equally to blame
If not more so
How do you deal with a person like me?
Cycling through moods
Quicker than a person changes underwear
And they’re hardly normal moods are they?
They’re full sweep in intensity
No one seems to express them or feel them
As intensely as me
People say there is someone else out there
Always experiencing life similar to you
But people often agree once they’ve met me
And gotten to know me
There is no one they can think of that quite experiences such intensity
Full swoop from thinking i’m cured
To thinking I’d rather die
To thinking I want to talk
To thinking I wanna be alone and never see anyone
To thinking I’m a genius
Who will save the world
To thinking I’m so fuckin dumb
I might aswell not even bother
To thinking i’ll never consider suicide again!
I’ve been saved! I’m cured, all is well
To thinking the noose is just in the other room
Might go and kill myself, i can’t stand this hell.
I’m not a nice man
I recognise that
Thats why I’m angry at people
Who act like arseholes
When I keep it all inside
And actually I’m just like them
And possibly worse
People think i’m fucking shy!
I know! What a lie
They’re the people that have met me
On the best of days
But fuck, you should hear me
If i’m just irritated or angry
I’ll say whatever the fuck i want
Be rude as hell, yea proper arsehole
Making myself sound like an entitled prick
Some people think i’m so self aware
When actually I’m so fucking lost
And drowned so deep so long ago
I have no idea how i tick
I just go each day at a time
Ticking like a time bomb
With all these intense moods of mine
I’m never inbetween or just simply okay
No, no, i’m always the fucking extremes
Either so bad I’m ready to die, or so good I’m ready to save the world
No in between for me
I’m either over excited
Or I’m completely numb
Do you know how tiring it is to live with a brain like this?
Fuck.
silverbackgorillapoetry.com 