Precious illusions
are the essence
of every good religion
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Poetry
Zephry will conform herself around you
Whispering the worlds indifference.
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Battle in my head
You are the catalyst
Weaving notions on my skin
I get lost in my emotional paralysis
Till the sentiments sink in
Then comes the anguish
With logic on my shoulder
Playing devils advocate
But I can’t listen to him
Because to my heart
time doesn’t exist
And there just isn’t enough time
to resist.
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The immortal fight
A ribbon of smoke billowed an apology between them
Hostility temporarily suspended
As they eyed one another from behind their cherry lit ends
the deer head peered upon the silence
that smeared the air between them
The saxophone mere white noise
unable to penetrate the moment
Only turning their heads from one another
to watch her feet burdened in high heels
as she walked towards the one she chose
which wasn’t either of them
Their nostrils flared
and behind gritted teeth they faked pleasantries
Before taking it outside in the street
Noses cracked and busted lips
Hatred snaking through cigarette mist
Till the bobby comes on the beat
To resume assumed peace
They think I’m alright
They question your sanity
But never question mine
Because they always think I’ll be alright
And I think one day they may be proven wrong
But for now they think I only *think* i’m not strong
I say I can’t cope
They say I can, they say I’m coping right now
Even if I don’t think I am
Well they don’t see into my mind
They don’t know the pressure behind my eyes
The way it makes me strain
The way I can’t take the pain
The way I’ve got ideas and thoughts in my head
Driving me insane
They don’t see the hands going through my hair
My head bowed down as I try to pull through my despair
They don’t hear my screams
As I hold it inside
Till one day it all burts from my lips
And the world hears
But then I go silent again
And the world moves on
without a clue
While these little thoughts
Like spiders create these webs in my mind
And I could try to explain
But there are no words I could say
Because when I try it’s never enough
And that’s why there is only one solution that comes to mind
The ultimate expression
Of this pain inside…..
Rage
Suspended
On the brink of surrender
To the anger that blinks
Using breath as your anchor
Trying to step back, unthink
Watching your words
Like butterlies caged in your mouth
Waiting, biding your time
Keeping the bulls in their cages
Till the red flag can fly
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The harrowing howl
of the wind
as Lorries gush by
While life suspends itself
Within the noose.
Loser
You’re a loser
Reflecting back to me
My insecuririties
And I hate you
As much as I hate me
And that’s why
I won’t look you in the eyes (I rarely look anyone in the eyes though)
Because I on’t wanna see
Myself trapped in a cell
Inside your irsises
You’re a loser just like me
You’re a loser and I hate you
As much as I hate me
And that’s why I’m shaking
Because I want to die
Like I want to kill you
But I couldn’t hurt a fly
And thats my dilemma
I’m scared of my own mind
You’re a loser
Ugly inside
Like me
Catalyst
It’s gonna be a slow day
I’m taking in the view
As if I’m still watching you
Because you’re the valve
That’s missing from my heart
And I need you
To put me in the wrong direction
So I can get high
And then fall back down to earth
Cuz right now I’m in limbo
And from this point of view
All I can see is you
And what I shouldn’t have said or done
I need a catalyst
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Pillar
I wanted to be a pillar
Against all that can break
Steady against the waves
Without taking on the pain
Taking everything in my stride
Letting no harm pass
Into the crevices of my mind
I wanted to be the man
With that fierce mentality
Who knew all about brutality
While being one of the friendliest guys
You wouldn’t wanna get on the wrong side of him
But he’d sooner help you than get in a fight
I wanted to be that man
But I’m nothing
Without you by my side.
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