Arms open wide
Feeling the air of resistance
Hearing the worlds whispers, I listen
Trying to understand existence
But she won’t tell me her secrets
The world and I no longer in allegiance
Feeling far away
Trying to rise again
Like a phoenix from the flames
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Hush these voices
Writing my days
Worry will etch lines on my face
As storms have prospered
And marked the earth
I need an ear that listens
But does not judge
As I erode and try to simply breathe
Dull this pain
And let my spirit soar
Before I become one with the dirt.
Sit and listen to
The sound of the pitter patter
Like constant white noise
Asserting no significant attention
Just the buzz of human relations
Like the wings of a bee
Humming the language of nations
Industrious working of this socialisation
Working its way through the psyche
Of many generations
While clowns look to the clouds
With wisdom in their jest
And hearts of lions pounding in their chest
But noticing every freedom
Has it’s own cage
And seeing that maybe
As caged birds flaps their wings
Can a man surely dare to dream?
I sat outside till the midges started to bite. I just sat.
Do you know what it feels like to feel like your drowning on air?
I rely on others to care about me, in a world that doesn’t care.
So I sat. And I tried not to think I’m an idiot. But I did, I slapped my forehead and said “you’re a fucking idiot” and I think the cat across the road might agree. I considered just staying there, sleeping on the bench.
I walked out the other night to distract myself from the S word. I’m restless. It was about 11:00 pm. I prefer being outside at night, i oddly feel safer. A guy walked down the road just before you turn to the block of flats, and I don’t know what was up with him but….it explained why it was a windless night. Because he seemed to have to all the wind coming out of his arse. He was farting really loudly as he walked along, hell they sounded like he possibly followed through. I don’t think he noticed someone was actually outside at that time to witness it….
It hurts when you realise you’re alone in this world.