These feelings can’t be contained
in a sustained note
Or a melody you wrote
The music doesn’t filter them
like they were meant to
Like you say, maybe I hold on too tight
to this darkness inside.
People say that darkness is good
Because you can see light
but I guess I must be blind.
I’m always trying to empty
this hollow space of expanded nothing
But it’s like it goes too deep
and has become the roots within
I’m constantly deflated
while this depression bloats
mental health
Wound NaPoWriMo poem 10
Tired beyond comprehension
The world too full and empty
Nothing to be awake for
No desires to fulfil
But for this thirst for something
not quite resembling anything
Just a pain
festering in an unseen wound
Butterflies NaPoWriMo 8
Caged inside my head
Ghosts of butterflies
Snapped up by the tongues of neurons
Before they could fly
Agony: Poetry 4 for NaPoWriMo
The tears make bokeh of the headlights
Careening around this corner
This is the only time we felt alive
Our skeletons waiting to discard this flesh
And death didn’t half look dashin’
The way he danced and took our breath
And when your lips fall from their hinges
In shock and agony
When the anguish rolls across your face
And your lungs expand with empty space
Know this was the ferocity
That pulled us to our knees
And we were only ever sorry
We couldn’t make it to the other side
Of the storm
Writing letters
Writing letters with blades
Addressed to you
My madness
Take these veins
And wrap them around my sadness
I am host
To all of these dragons
Waging war on this brain
My island
Bleed
Piercing through the sadness
Like trying to shine a light through the madness
But all that comes is blood
Running down, making tracks
A wreckage embroiled on skin
With maps of violence
Filling the silence
All these thoughts
All these thoughts swim
Till they run
Merging and
Words become undone
Falling away
Somewhere hidden
The thoughts gone
But the feelings remain
Without a name
And then a new thought
Falls into view
Only to fall away
Before you really knew
And the feeling grows
But the words, you do not know
And you wonder
Something
Somewhere
The letters of the thoughts
R
u
n
n
i
n
g
.
.
.
.
Infestation
My body is a casket
for breath
Another breath in
And out
Emptiness encroaching
Like cockroaches
Always surviving
through the momentary fulfillment
meant to demolish
sadness
My body a casket
awaiting death.
Another one on Absence
Your absence rings
In my ears
As if
Every voice
Not yours
Is a gunshot
Reverberating
In my skull
Your absence lingers
In every musical interval
As if
Every note
Sustains your existence
Behind my eyes
Yet my mind’s eye
Continues to blur you
As if you’re fading, still
Not quite a ghost, but not quite true
A shadow
I must hold onto.
Dysmorphia
Ugly
Fugly
Staccato of laughter
Echo
Echo
After time
I don’t hanker
Staccato of footfalls
And dripping taps
Remind me who I still am
And have.
Drowning
realising there is no rafter
Pastel face smudged away
No happy ever after
Paint a crooked smile
A clown, a gargoyle
A monster
A crocodile
Frankenstein
Fucking mouths
Hostile
Mutant
Ogre
The periphery
Of mirrors
Framing the freak
The words on my lips
“Please don’t look at me.”
silverbackgorillapoetry.com 