Traces of your perfume
 Linger caressing the air
 Like your fingers
 Subtle approach 
 Coy under veils 
 Lest we be caught 
 I sink into your aroma
 The ghost of your
 Voluptuous breasts 
 Dancing, quivering 
 Embraced between your thighs
 Enthralled by the movement 
 Of hips 
 Biting landmarks 
 On each other skin 
 I think I’ll just sit
 And let those memories
 Sink in

©2016 April

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Liquid cruelty

With this liquid cruelty
Bring on the bourbon whiskey
And lonely girl bartenders
Living lives of dissatisfaction

Who will take off their dresses
While they’re dancing on the sheets
In hotel room one hundred and twenty three
Where cheap nights
Lace with cheap curtains

I’ll promise
it’s all discreet
And my fingers like pencils
Will draw upon her cheeks
The red blush of sex
She’s been waiting for, for weeks

I’ll inhale the smell
Of her perfume
Devour her beauty
When she does the walk of shame
I’ll beat the heart of pain

Knowing I’ve dirtied
another one
And I’ll spin into nothingness
At 3 am
Trying to chase back
My drunken ass
Before I feel lame again

(c) 2016 March

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Mammalian heritage

Fingers dig into fleshy meat
Feeling for the joy that comes to greet
fiercely grabbed, you mustn’t be meek!

Hearts thumping with the danger
It’s beautiful dissatisfaction
That leads to such surrender

Reprimanded by our lust
All the waiting over
Hopelessly yielding
To our mammalian heritage

(c) 2016 March

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White noise

Her face is a blur as I focus on the ash at the end of the cigarette; she’s sat in front of me just staring at me through a haze of smoke. She’s got her ice cold demeanour on, the room is pale blue with cold and rain is pattering on the windows. I look up to the ceiling and I stare at the green light on the smoke alarm and I hold my hand up with the cigarette in between my fingers
“It won’t go off”
Her voice seems to just flow in the background without any significance to me as i just sit and watch the green light and smoke and hope for escape. She pinches my toes and I sit up interrupted from my nothingness “I’m bored” she’s like a petulant kid, always a tantrum to be had. I look at her and wonder if I shake her if her eyes would fall out like she’s just a doll. Just a doll, wake up, she’s not real. In a puff of smoke you’ll see. I take the cigarette to my lips, inhale deeply feeling that tar imbed itself in my lungs and then I exhale and when the shroud of smoke has gone she’s there, she’s still real. I feel at a bruise on my cheek and run my tongue over the side of my mouth where i bit with the shock. It shouldn’t be a shock anymore, my body always reacts the same. I got the wrong fucking shampoo, the wrong fucking shampoo! For Christ sake! “It’s (brand name here) like you asked for” I said “No!” she said with that ice cold stare of hers, I saw her fist clench “NO!” she screamed “It’s not the right one. It’s in a pink bottle” “Maybe they’ve changed it” I intoned. Why did i say anything? I should have just stayed still like a mannequin. She does this all the time, she makes me go out to get stuff, then she claims I got the wrong stuff when I get back. Sometimes i think she makes this shit up, just to create a fight, she needs a fight. “You saying I’m lying?” she says, getting close to my face, i can feel her spit on my face I’m angry too by this point, at the world, at her but mostly at me. “Okay, okay I’ll go back out and get the right one” I said, she folded her arms looked at me, squinted her eyes at me as if to figure me out “You do it on purpose” she hissed “You buy the wrong things on purpose” i could see her body tensing up at this point, unable to stay still, fidgeting on her feet then she lurched forwards with a kiss on my lips, passionate as ever then she looked me square in the eyes straight after and the next thing I feel is her fist up against my cheek “Don’t you! huh! you do this shit on purpose!” her eyes should have been spinning with crazy, instead they just remained blue as always “Trying to antagonise me all the time” a tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it. I held my hands up as if surrendering to the police, blocking her from my body as she started to lurch forwards again, and arms out trying to grab at me. She does this, I do that and then I get tired of it all and I decide actually I want her to hit me again then she hits me again and again. Leaves her marks on me. The worst of it is all the rollercoaster emotions, the loving me one moment, hating me the next, the wanting to fuck then the wanting me to roll off her “You sick fuck!” even though she initiated it. She hits me and then we fuck against the wall, as if fucking will make it better, glue back together the foundation we, I though the relationship could be built on in the beginning. I’m inside her and then she randomly slaps me across the face then she kisses me again and I’m so confused and I go limp. She laughs at me “You can’t last” she laughs so loud the neighbours will have heard “You can’t even stay hard enough to come!” I turned around so my butt was to her and I kept myself contained. But inside the beast had been woken so I turned to her, I imagine my eyes were red with anger and steam blew out of my nose and like a bull I kicked up the sand and charged, I dragged her by her arm into the bathroom, I stood her in front of the mirror, her and I looking in the mirror looking at two monsters “Look what you’re doing to me!” I hissed “Just look at that mark on my face! That’s you!” her nostrils flared and her eyes glazed over with yet more ice “Do NOT talk to me in this tone” she said through clenched teeth “Really? You think I care anymore? You think I’m scared of you?” I buried my head in her neck, let her feel my breath on her neck “You think after all this time I’m scared? No. Not anymore, hit me! Hit me again!”
She just stared into the mirror without flinching, didn’t say a thing “Go on!” I shouted right in her ear “Hit me!” I stepped back from her “it doesn’t matter anymore. You know why? You’ve numbed me, I don’t care. Hit me over and over it doesn’t matter!” Her eyes glazed over once more with more ice and her nostrils flared, she spun round, her fingers curled like claws, she lunged after me, pulling onto my hair, her spit landing on my face, the back of my head hit the toilet. Now we’re sat on the floor listening to the rain and the white noise from the aftermath of violence.

Whirlwind Romance

I loosen my tie
You unbutton my shirt
My breath against your neck
Caressing away your hurt

And our eyes are a blaze
With the fire
Your lips crave

And I bend you
Over the table
Clutching at your hips
As ripples and waves
Convulsions and thunder
Take us away

And I lean over
Nibble round your neck
Whisper your name
As I feel myself tighten up in knots
Before I release all my have nots

Muscles slacken in surprise
As we dance across
This happened chance
Of a little whirlwind

(c) 2016 Jan

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I heard her footsteps approach
I poured me a drink and settled down
She wore red shoes and a red dress
Red lipstick and her handbag matched too
But inside she was mismatched just like me
“Red is the colour of passion” she had always said

My face shrouded by cigarette smoke
She peered through said
“Smokin’ another nail in your coffin I see”
Hands on her hips
Glaring back at me
Till she tore that cigarette from my lips
“I aint seeing you croak on my watch”

She had that sultry look in her eyes
And I was duty bound
Got up and took her into the night
Nothing needed to be said
In the silence we mutually agreed
To paint the night in red

written 2015 posted on previous blog(c)

Twisted love

Your kiss like a blade upon my skin
Naked before you, you delve deeper into my wounds
I don’t know if this is love or hate
But I can’t seem to walk away
I know I should run
But your eyes cut me down to size
I’m not big enough to take the road
I’m just a scared boy inside
Waging a war behind elusive eyes
And your ice cold kiss lays me down for the night
In my ice cold tomb where a soldier lost his fight
And your finger tips like knives
Cut across my skin
Full of sex and full of life
And your ice blue eyes are the only thing keeping me cold at night
This frost is a lesson learnt
And upon a body of curves I trace your skin
Like it’s a map of life
We hold on tight, waiting, hoping, wanting
For a fire to ignite


© 2015