Beauty & the beast

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For all I’ve done
I see the monster I’ve become
And in the speed of light
I’m struck dumb

Nowhere to go
Just a beast
In human clothes

The scales upon my back
Sharpened anticipating attack
Claws dig down
Finding roots to cling to

As I froth at the mouth
Taking a bite from rotten apples
Maggots abound

Eyes black shielding a soul behind
But there’s an ocean inside

Trying to figure out
What it is to be human
I observe them all
And even I
Always fall in love with someone

I shroud my face
And take a dagger to my heart
In beauty I have no place
So I’ll stand apart

© SilverbackGorilla Poetry.

2015

A meeting inside my head: “Your writing is shit.”

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I had a meeting with myself
“Your works not up to scratch.”
I said, a nod of agreement from everyone else not in the room
Ensued
“Quite frankly, you just don’t have what it takes.”
I sighed and took the criticism, felt an urge to apologise
But I carried on with myself, “You can’t cut the mustard, all in agreement with your leaving your writing at the door, put your hand up.”
I raised my hand, including myself
“There we have it. Meeting  adjourned,” I look at my watch, “At 17:05.”

Bioluminescent

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I’m outside the submarine
watchin’ you through circle windows
As I drift inside my own quarantine
I’ve seen the most terrifying fucking things
Living in the depths with me
I’m no Frankenstein
Till I see you, in your yellow submarine
Down here I can be ugly like the anglerfish
When I smile, I’m all fangs and teeth
But I see my reflection
When you all harbour resentment
Blinking behind submarine windows
I’m trying to become Bioluminescent
Can you see me in the dark yet?
I’ve evolved to be this ugly
Do you care to see the horror
That is me?

Monsters

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Puddles harbour reflections
In black and white photographic hue
Reminds me back when I
When I thought I loved you
But I paused just a little bit
Let the dots roll past
And now it’s all gone
My moment of victory came to pass
And I did not, I did not drink that glass

It was an imitation of
The finest wine
Said to be the blood of
Jesus Christ
Well I said, I don’t believe
Let me take my bow and leave
I don’t believe in sin
Just some people who sunk within

Trying to show scars without
Cuz no one cares unless you bleed and shout
If only we had eyes
In each others minds
But we’d only want to shut each other out
Because there is no peace
When you know they don’t scream
But the pain still seeps within

There is no shroud
To smother it out
No curtains can be drawn
To cast any doubts
You just live in your own
Little terror house
While the fire burns
Everything down

And I thought I saw
Hopeless in his eyes
But it was just a glimmer of hope
And I know that, much like a butterfly
It’ll whizz past in the blink of an eye
He’s better hopeless
With you and I
Staring into the abyss
With the monsters
That we missed

Gutter

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Dark clouds are brewing up a storm
While we brew our beer
We’re gonna get pissed
Before the filth sees us here
In agony and irony, we roll our tobacco
Yellowing our nails
Before they take us back home
Shipping us off to goodness knows where
Cause goodness is like God, it ain’t even here!

I’ve got a mean streak
without the spear
I’ll grab you by your hair
and clip you around the ear!
In a newsboys hat
Looking all dapper and queer
Because it’s how I roll
My marijuana …*ahem* tobacco
And the heavens are opening up
The storm above our heads
While the pigs chase us down town
We got suits on! You can’t run fast
Without creasing ironing
Lord, thank our mothers
She’s gonna have a fit when she sees us here
“Shoulda shipped you off all those years.” She’ll mutter
And we’ll walk downcast into the gutter
Cause goodness is like god!
It ain’t fucking here!

Sex & Smoke

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Sex & smoke
Dazzled us in clouds
Of champagne
Frothing at our feet
Admitting defeat
Already on our knees
Taking it
Melting in the moment
Breathing in the decay
Of innocence
Wrapped around our skin
Peeling in layers
Letting it all out from within
No inhibitions
Just naked oceans
Of forbidden lust
Under a fever
Our minds, we can no longer trust
As we go in for the final thrust