NaPoWriMo: Pushing through

Living and breathing
pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
when death should come
Pushing through anxiety
like a mother pushes out babies
One breath, two breath,
fuck that
I’m here death!
I’m done running
chasing my next breath
one breath, two breath
Fuck that
Eat me, death!

Put my hands in the soil
my fingers worming through roots
touching death
teeming with life
humus is humorous
two shades
one called death, one called life
different shades of each
50 shades of life
remember, can you remember why the strife?
No, not that, the other one
I’ve got plenty, but not a wife!

I thought I thought a thought
that strangled breath
Something about the traffic
of things
an accumulation
Too much, too many
fuck, too many wires
no wonder I’m so fucking wired
Chasing electricity
electrified
terrified
One breath, two breath
three breath
Pushing through anxiety
like I’ll be pushing up daises
One breath, two breath
a wall of bricks with wires
tongue tied, tongue lied
Remember, can you remember
the one very specific thing I thought I thought?

NaPoWriMo: Alone sparrows

I’ve got a teenage forehead
but the rest of me has aged
I look pretty funny
but I never claimed to be anything but this mismatched man
if God is real I guess me being whole wasn’t part of the plan
God must’ve thought I could live on the edges
but look around
they’re all fenced up
ask yourself where are the birds and the hedges?
Does a bird mistake a fence for a hedge?
No, he knows.

It’s me alone with the sparrows.

The dying field mouse

A dying field mouse was the catalyst
For the tears turning to diamonds
Under the pressure of unrelease
An apologetic surrendering
To my failure to be a hero
My humanity drifting me apart
A wedge between me and my kind
A bridge I can’t cross
To look you in the eyes
And become a part of the rat race
I despise
That mouses black beady eyes
The abyss I looked into
Forever looking back

I am sorry little mouse

I couldn’t bring you peace

in your darkest hours

as you bid your long arduous goodbye.

Neon noose

The neon world shone through the mist, the creatures called ‘humans’ or more scientifically, ‘homo sapiens’ were becoming like the dragonfish of the deep, deep ocean. Though their physical biology refused to become bioluminescent they were compensated for this by their adaptability and creative abilities.
The mist had become an ocean in which they constantly lived and had planet earth been a sentient being it may well have regarded humanity as its greatest mistake.

Their evolution of super adaptability meant they externalised many traits and habits other animals had inbuilt. With delusions of grandeur on a mass scale, the homo sapiens had no regard for animals, despite being one themselves, the animals in their linguistic headspaces had become ‘other,’ and expendable. Some homo sapiens had come to the conclusion they were making too many mistakes, indeed in one cartoon (something they created with an implement known as a pen) that caught my eye the homo sapien had drawn a dinosaur with a meteorite falling from the sky, one dinosaur looked to another and said, ‘We should do something about that,’ and the other said, ‘We can’t, it’ll hurt the economy.’ This cartoon was supposed to be something called comedy.
The laughing matter is that the cartoon was pointing out a real phenomenon. To the homo sapiens, the ‘economy’ was more important than saving their lives. And I have wondered ever since what sort of diety this ‘economy’ must have been to them that they were willing to sacrifice their lives for it. They worshipped this God called ‘economy’ and the thought of hurting this God was baulked at more than their own demise. Perhaps they believed in some kind of afterlife. They appeared trapped in a hell of their own making, the air was dense with all sorts of stuff they pumped into it daily. But they could not or would not help themselves. I believe they were all (a term they used) addicts.

They had divided such a line between themselves and the expendable others that they ironically othered themselves as a consequence.
They had mind-bending ideas that meant they figured anything ‘man-made’ was not nature, for they were above it or in some minds below it.
But the species were so fractured that although they lived by this principle even many of the homo sapiens who purported to be ‘at one with nature’ would baulk at ‘man-made’ progress and they didn’t see how this was a contradiction.
They figured themselves enlightened and the ones who would take them back to nature and none of them stopped to question, ‘When did we leave?’
Was it when they first harnessed electricity? Was it when they first landed a man on the moon?
If it was the earth that had birthed them in the whole scheme of things, then ‘man made’ need not be excluded from being called natural.
After all, it was their evolved capabilities that naturally gave them these abilities.

Homo sapiens by my alien (alien to them) observations, were addicts who were so out of fear of death.

If Homo sapiens were just mere natural beings then they too would perish, they too came from and were part of the dirt.

The homo sapiens were to the earth what the metallic starlings were to poison-dart trees.

Homo sapiens had the disadvantage that they were harmful to all of the earth, but the supposed advantage was their tendency to be highly adaptable.

But too many chose to ignore the signs, too many chose to ignore the men and women shouting and screaming that the world was on fire.

Because they were addicts.

All for fear of the thing they only brought more of, death.


And now, in their misty neon ghettos, they try to forget their inevitable demise, looking into the halo of a neon noose.