You’ve got something of mine
It’s all of my time
Running round my head
I wish you’d leave me alone instead
But you’ve took up residence
In the walls of my brain
And I’m trying to flush you out
I need pest control
To get you out
Of my head
Where you devour
The walls i’ve made
Trail blazing through the maze
Of my neuro network
Turning into thoughts
And all the shit you’ve done
What have you done?
Anger and rage
Consume me again
Trying to be the better one
But that don’t mean nice
Thinking up vengence
but then feeling wrong for such a vice
What have you done?
What have i become?
Am I falling into a monster
Because of you?
Am I becoming
Just like you?
Why do you humans sometimes refer to yourself as naked apes?
Yet if a human wonders on the street naked, the police turn up?
You’re the only ape that wears fucking clothes!
Naked apes? My arse! And guess what? I’m a gorilla so my arse is naked. Exceptionally hairy but naked!
As i walk among you hairless apes (you’re not actually hairless though) I come to realise you have been classified wrong as Homo sapiens.
Homo (man) Sapiens (wise)
But you’re hardly wise. And I got a much more fitting name for you Homo Contradictus
For what I have noticed is that you’re all walking contradictions.
Oh don’t shoot me, I’m a walking contradiction too. But I’m a gorilla and haven’t been named as the ‘wise’ ones.
Enjoy your new species name, it fits better.
In trying to resist temptation the more tempted I become
The same is true of anger. The more I resist my anger, the angrier I become.
I’m still to find the balance with letting them off the leash for a little run without having them run too far or too little!
Striving for peace is a war itself.
Jut how many battles have been waged in the hopes to attain peace?
I recall a night back when I used to frequent a support chat room when I got to talking to someone who was questioning their entire existence and point of living. Their issue was(without going into details as to the why) the chance of them reproducing offspring were at best extremely minimal, at worse zero chance. They suggested that this meant that there wasn’t a reason for them to continue. “If a person doesn’t leave behind a bloodline what is their point,” is mostly what their argument entailed. On that very night for reasons unfathomable to me, because I’m often the most pessimistic, grumpy little fucker there is, I came out with this(not exactly these words it was a while ago): “You don’t need to leave your DNA behind if you can make history.”
I think I knew what I meant at the time I said it, within the context of the entire conversation. Now that my memory is hazy, I can’t say I really know what I meant.
Perhaps I meant that he should go out there and become so famous he would be forever written into textbooks for generations to come, or maybe I meant it in a much more subtle way. Make history with those you come into contact with, spreading your metaphorical seed in peoples minds, perhaps that is a way to ‘reproduce’ without those pesky, grubby kids running around like the maniacs they are.
I don’t know what I meant. But for some reason from time to time, this memory comes back to me, and I remember saying that and then I wonder what the hell I thought when I said it, I know I was in a hyperactive, fighting frame of mind but that is all I can remember.
Perhaps you have some ideas as to what I could have meant?