anxiety

I live in tyrannical state of mind

Matt2 Comments

Why, I want to live on a secluded island
Away from everyone
So that I can feel lonely on my own
And scream “No one cares about my despair”
And not feel like an attention seeker
Because no one would be there to hear
And it’d take the burden away
Leaving me with these tyrants in my brain
Burning away at the scaffolding
Holding up my attempts at building
And I can be left within this ash and ruin
And maybe these tyrants would begin to tame
Without anymore buildings
To put up in flames

Highly strung

MattLeave a comment

Your smile is a treacherous road
To kiss upon
Because the strings that pull the corners up
Are easily swung
In to that contemptuous  frown
Because you’re highly strung
And I wish I could say I could relax your soul
But I’m intensity personified
You might be taut
But you’ve got nothing
On my mind.

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battle

MattLeave a comment

I want to be like my granddad

not this on edge battle

constantly within

I want to be one of those men

who is calm and collected

even through adversity

but my brain works out of sync

with my wishes

and instead I’m constantly

wound to the highest of settings

looking over my shoulder

always expecting the worse

and making myself grieve

before any news has even been heard

I put myself through the ringer

always churning out anxious messes

I think I might just have enough of this

fucked up shit in my mind

that had I been born in a different time

i’d have been institutionalised

and sometimes I think maybe

it’d be easier

in a straitjacket

to save myself from this responsibility

of being a fully fledged human

i’ve got these contradicting sides

of me, arguing.

one side says I want to be a self sufficient man

but that despite that want, I don’t think that I can

and another side of me wants to run away

or maybe just induce myself into a coma

and never wake