Life isn’t beautiful

I’m tired of life
It’s always full of emptiness
we fill our time with TV
And any other screens
moving wallpaper over the teeth
underneath
that grind us

Tonight I don’t care for that nature’s green
it’s all a rollercoaster ride
beneath those canopies
pain and suffering hide
At least in winter, it’s plain to see
illusions revealing their skeletal remains

A butterfly isn’t beautiful
it’s a flutter of a moment
it’s death painted pretty
A blackbirds song isn’t melodic
it’s desperation dressed as music
trying to hang onto dear life
and I have to ask, why?

NaPoWriMo: Music & Rage

You set my rage on fire
I sat back
let it ravage me like a lover
I had never had
stepped out into the music
and wore it on my skin
the notes were magical hoops
I could sway within
praying to the rhythm
for something akin to forgiveness
or maybe just something like release
The music forgot you were the muse
my anger wished to paint red
and because the music and I became one
like lovers
my heart was racing
to the finish line
till the cigarettes smoked
between our lips
to tell us of our casual slips
A cancerous kiss

NaPoWriMo: Life and death

It could be as was said
I’m preoccupied with death
but first to be so
you must see life
so really it’s an obsession with life
and the death therewithin
and the life therewithin the death
a tangled knot
It’s a noticing what one is and what one is not
and seeing the intricacies in telling between the two
it’s more complicated than you’d think
death fuels life
life fuels death

Knowing this doesn’t ease the pain though
when the time comes
it’s only human to cry and mourn
and that’s what keeps me coming back to this
thinking about those we’ve lost
and aligning the emotions with the facts

But I keep having to relearn
that our emotions are almost always
many steps behind the facts.

By the time they’re on the same track
something else comes along
takes you right back
and you wonder if the pain will ever leave.

Watching as the world goes on
it’s indifference a punch to the gut
why can’t it stop
like your breath did
you wonder
til you remind yourself
it’s because death and life are brother and sister
and then you wonder some more
and remind yourself again
till your brain is sore

NaPoWriMo: Palliative care

Eating is palliative care
keeping you alive for another day
but I guess you probably don’t think about it that way
why would you?
Life is something that goes
and you go with it
so why would you think
about all the little things you do
all the palliative care you give yourself?

Life flows through you
so you think
but death does too
and that’s the truth
really when you think about it
After all, what is all that dust on your shelf
but yesterdays wrappings of life?