Deepression

The guitar riff takes me back

To sitting in the car

Drowning from the emptiness In the bottomless pit of my lungs

Watching raindrops

Making tracks

Splattered shadows

I was supposed to be better

But i’d already rotted away from the inside It was sinking in, i was going home

To become someone who would be fulfilled

But I knew right there, as you walked back to the car with my meds

Nothing could fill me up

Drunk as moose

Did your mother lick you into shape
before you got drunk as a moose?
fairy legless
Ceasar threw you into the Colosseum
you kicked every which way that you might
frothing at the mouth for a fight
because everyone is a lion
a liar
on the prowl
my little cub bear
it’s the pride that eats ya
spilling your guts is no way to hide

Part 6: There goes the Wub

‘Do ya really ‘ave a photo?’ Jackson asked Merrick.

Merrick stood over the dead man; the man’s clothes were spattered in blood and brains. Merrick held up a hand and tilted his head, listening carefully. ‘Can ya ‘ear that?’

He could hear hushed voices along with the distant sound of hooves.

Merrick started to run from the house back the way they had come, he could hear Jackson breathing heavily behind him.

‘get it’

Merrick heard a voice whisper amongst the shiver of a bush.

‘It’s like a unicorn among ‘orses!’ Another voice whispered in amazement.

‘Show yasel” Merrick barked.

Jackson hunched over with his hands on his knees, catching his breath as he watched on.

There was a stark silence; a leaf brushed past in the breeze. A man emerged from the bushes, his hands raised above his head. ‘That unicorn among ‘orses,’ Merrick jutted his chin, ‘Owns me!’

Another man came out gingerly from the bushes, ‘We didn’t mean anythin’ by it.’

‘Yea, ya meant somethin’ by it.’ Merricks’s eyes were ablaze.

‘Please don’t shoot.’ The man protested shakily. ‘We thought the ‘orse was on ‘is own.’ He looked down at his feet, ‘Now we know e’s with you, we’ll leave it. It’s all fine ‘ere.’

Merrick lowered his gun, ‘Get outta my sight!’ He barked.

The sound of Tucker’s trot was receding, so Merrick started after the sound frustratedly, Jackson lagging behind.

They chased Tucker’s tail for the whole hour’s journey back into the little street with the pub. The men who were once under Jamesons’s charge were till there; only now they stood in their soiled trousers, disgruntled.

But it was Jackson, Merrick or Tucker they were paying any attention to when they arrived breathless behind the men. Merrick and Jackson followed their gaze up into the sky. Something was falling in a blaze down to earth.

‘What the fuck?’ Jackson stood arms folded over his chest protectively.

‘They’re back.’ Merrick gathered aloud.

Jackson waved a hand dismissively, ‘It’ll be a meteorite.’

‘Meybe.’ Jackson replied, ‘Is that any better?’

Jackson gave him a side glance.

‘Cuz if it’s that big coming down, we don’t stan’ a chance.’

The meteorite theory was soon put to bed, though, as the thing falling with a black continued on its trajectory over the cities; above it, the sky darkened. The city and the exclusion zone were cast in shadow.

‘Yup,’ Merrick nodded, ‘They’re back.’

‘No kiddin” Jackson whispered in wonder.

And so it was; the city imminently glowed under a green light while the exclusion zone remained in the shadows.

Apart from the lack of stars the exclusion zone remained the same, the beings above showing now interest in their little pocket of the earth.

‘Well, Fuck!’ One of Jamesons men hollared, ‘Looks like we’re all gonna die tonight.’ He turned to see Merrick and Jackson behind him.

Tucker neighed, which caused everyone to turn their heads to the stable next to Jackson’s shack.

Merrick laughed, ”e knows where t’ run to!’

‘Scott.’ The man tapped his mate on the shoulder, ‘Scott, the bastards!’ He jutted his chin towards Merrick and Jackson.

‘You ‘ave some brass balls comin’ back around ‘ere.’ The man said.’

Scott scoffed, ‘Or a death wish!’ He said, reaching for his gun.

Merrick whipped his gun out before he’d had the chance. ‘Careful there, son, someone might get shot.’

‘Yea, you!’ Scott pulled the gun on them.

‘Is this a game of who shoots first?’ Merrick asked, jutting his chin.

‘It’s lookin’ that way.’

Merrick turned to Jackson and shrugged, turned back to Scott and shot him in the wrist. Scott dropped the gun screeching in pain.

‘See, I don’t wanna kill anyone else tonight,’ Merrick kept the gun trained on Scott.

‘What the fuck!’ Scott’s friend hissed, ‘Ya coulda kilt ‘im!’ The man was still a bit drunk on his feet.

‘It ent toy guns we’re playin’ wit.’ Merrick spat, ‘But if ya twist me arm enough, I will kill ‘im.’ Merrick shrugged, swept the gun over Scott’s pal, ‘I’ll kill ya both if ya twist my arm enough.’

Scott looked up at his friend pleadingly. His hand wrapped around his wrist, blood gushing between his fingers.

‘We all know ya didn’t even like Jameson anyways, no one did.’ Merrick smirked, ‘So why don’t you scoot off now.’ With the gun, Merrick pointed at the cities, ‘We’re the least of your worries now.’

Scott’s eyes were wet with tears; he turned to look at the cities, emanating its new green glare.

The exclusion zone stood in dead silence.

Drops of blood ran down the cobbled road in the direction Scott and his boy went. People were stepping out of the bar and looking toward the cities in silent wonder.

With a screech and the sound of flabby flesh bubbling over gravel and cobbles, a stampede of Wub’s ran down and into the direction of the city.

‘Welp,’ Merrick yawned and stretched his arms, the gun still in his hand, ‘There goes the Wub.’ With his other hand he reached out and clasped Jackson’s hand in his.

The end.

Authors note: I have tried to make this a longer story, but everything I tried eventually led me to writer’s block. I hope to continue writing this story in one way or another and seeing how I go.

Part 5: There goes the Wub

The rows of trees came to a halt, and up the narrow dusty path, Tucker slowed his pace. The little house came into view, and already Merrick could spot the couple shuffling out of their house. They were still some distance away, but he wanted to consider how to deal with the situation, keeping Tucker at a slow trot.

‘Is this the place?’ Jackson asked.

‘Yup, this is the house alright.’

Spying the couple that stood at the front of the house, Jackson said, ‘She looks like she means business!’ But he was laughing about it into Merrick’s ear.

As they neared the house and the vast farmland stood in a sepia silence the man stepped off the front porch, eyes ablaze. ‘You ‘ave come back this way when we told you not to!’ The man bellowed, his nostrils flared.

‘Me situation has forced me back this way, I’m afraid.’ Merrick dismounted.

The woman stood behind the man, holding the shot gun with Merrick in her sights. Merrick looked around and spat onto the pathway, spying the wubs that were hung up on an old tattered washing line slap-bang in the middle of the field at the front of the house.

‘What’s with them?’ Merrick jutted his chin toward the dead wubs.

The man turned his whole body to look back at the wubs then turned again to look at Merrick and Jackson. ‘Ya never tried Wub?’ The man asked them, looking at them through an angry glaze.

‘No,’ Jackson replied, stepping up next to Merrick. ‘What would a fella do that fer? I’d assume they’d be poison t’ us.’

‘They’re creatures from the divine.’ The woman said through gritted teeth, still looking down the barrel of the gun.

‘So why’d ya kill ‘em?’ Merrick asked.

‘The divine brought us the wub so that we could eat.’ The man told them.

‘What ‘bout the fishes in the sea and the rivers?’ Jackson asked.

The man laughed, ‘Ya seen any fish ‘ere?’  

‘We were outta fish long ‘fore those wubs came.’ Merrick butted in.

‘I ‘eard word it was us ‘umans that did ‘em in.’ Jackson said.

‘T’was when ‘uman society lost faith!’ The man said.

Merrick shook his head, ‘Nah. I ‘eard it was a capitalist thing, overfishin’ ‘t’ waters fer profit.’ Merrick scanned the line of wubs hanging from the line, ‘Anyway, ‘ow about ya let us try some fried wub then? And we can devise a plan fer ‘ow my friend and I can pass, eh?’

The man thought it over, tapping at his bottom lip. The woman held steady with the gun, her finger ready on the trigger. ‘Down!’ The man barked.

Merrick looked at Jackson, Jackson looked back at him; they both shrugged.

The woman lowered the gun reluctantly, growling as she did.

Merrick leaned against Tucker’s head and whispered reassuringly in his ear, ‘Ya a good boy Tuck. I’ll work somethin’ out.’ He ran a hand down his long nose, ‘You stay ‘ere boy, yea?’ He leaned closer to Tucker’s ear and whispered more quietly, ‘Stay ‘ere till I say.’ Tucker moved his head up and down, nuzzling Merrick’s neck. ‘Ah know Tuck! Ah know!’ He laughed at the sensation as Tuckers tongue lolled out and licked his face. ‘I’ll sort it out, Tuck, I’ll sort it out.’ Tucker snorted happily.

The husband and wife grimaced at him talking to the horse with the devil eye like that, their lips curling with disgust.

                                                            #

Merrick and Jackson followed the couple into the little white house and into their kitchen and then into the dining room.  The man sliced up  a piece of wub and slapped it onto two plates, sliding them across to them on the table.

‘Go on,’ His fists thumped at the table.

Merrick looked up at him, nodded, cut himself a sliver and put it in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed slowly, looking across at Jackson. ‘Tastes like fish.’ He smiled in surprise, ‘Teach a man t’ catch wub, and he’ll eat fer life!’ Merrick grinned.

Now the man and the woman looked at Jackson expectantly. Jackson took a piece reluctantly into his mouth, ‘Are ya sure this is safe? I mean, we’re eatin’ aliens!’

‘It’s fine!’ The woman barked.

‘Go on!’ The man spat impatiently.

Jackson looked across the table at Merrick, and Merrick tipped his head forward.

‘Alreet.’ Jackson said with a sigh, ‘’ere goes,’ he bit down on the wub meat and swallowed, then took another bite, ‘You’re right, it does taste like fish!’

The man and woman smiled at them both, showing gummy grins. Then they put their hands together and closed their eyes, saying some silent prayer.

They sat down and took some wub meat for themselves, scoffing it off their plates in haste.

‘Now,’ the man started to speak, his mouth full, ‘That there ‘orse,’ he pointed with his fork, a bit of wub meat falling off and back onto his plate, ‘’e is of this earth and not a part of the divine.’

‘What are ya on about?’ Merrick asked.

‘That ‘orse is like the cidy peope. God wanted us separated from those so-called pure bloods. We are not the freaks in God’s eyes! We are ‘is chosen ones!’

‘That’s a new one on me!’ Jackson baulked.

Merrick spun his fork on the plate in front of him, ‘I think man is of the earth too.’ He dropped the fork with a clatter and sat back in his chair, arms folded, ‘What’d ya say t’ that?’

‘I’d say ya ent got Jesus in ya ‘eart! And fer that you shall surely burn in hell!’ The woman replied.

The man closed his eyes, ‘Amen, Ize. Amen!’

Merrick leaned forward and looked the man square in the eyes, ‘Well, that ‘orse right there, is a descendent of a ‘orse from one of the spaceships.’

The man dabbed his mouth with an old stained cloth, ‘I’d say ah don’t believe ya.’

‘Well, me father told me there were two ‘orses on the spaceship, those two ‘orses they left behind.’

The man took another bite of wub.

The woman slammed her knife and fork on the plate with a clatter, ‘’es lyin’ ‘e is!’

The man waved a hand at her; she lowered her eyes and looked down at her plate.

‘’is father might be the liar, Ize.’ He nodded toward her, and she nodded back, picking her knife and fork back up.

‘Ya ‘eard me, didn’t ya?’ He asked Merrick.

‘Yea. Ya sayin’ me father is a liar. But see, I ‘ave proof.’

‘And what would this proof be?’

‘I’ve got a photograph of the ‘orses comin’ walking off t’ spaceship!’

A chair scraped against the floor as the man pushed it out below. He stood at the tables end, arm stretched, palm up expectant.

‘Well,’ Merrick looked from him to the woman and back again, taking another bite of wub, ‘I don’t ‘ave it on me!’

The man’s elbow cracked as he bent his arm back and slapped his hands together. Jackson, Merrick and the woman all jumped at the sound.

‘Liar!’ He shouted, spittle spraying from his mouth. His face was red with rage, ‘I let you liars into my ‘ouse, and fed you my food!’ He spun on his heels, picked up a gun that was leaning against the window at the end of the table.

‘I ‘ought to shoot ya both right ‘ere!’ He bellowed, pointing the gun at Merrick and Jackson, ‘But that would be too easy!’ He hissed, turning and marched out of the house.

Merrick made a blind rush to the window, his gun out of his holster and pulled the trigger. The glass smashed, and shards of glass sprayed everywhere. The first bullet had missed the man, as he marched toward a nervous Tucker.

‘Run!’ Merrick hollered at the top of his lungs.

The man glanced over his shoulder at Merrick before turning back and raising the gun, Tucker in his sights.

Merrick pulled the trigger again.

The man groaned loudly.

Tucker was running in the direction he’d come from, neighing loudly.

The man was down, holding his leg.

When he noticed Tucker getting away, he heaved himself up.

‘I don’t wanna kill ya,’ Merrick spat.

The man batted Merrick away and spun round; lifting his gun, ‘I’ll kill you…’

Merrick shot him in the bloody mess of his trousers. The man groaned and fell to the ground again, the gun landing away from him. He held his leg, grunting and breathing heavily. Merrick kicked the gun away.

There was a bang from behind; he spun on his heels and the woman had a shotgun pointed at him. He watched as her hands loosened their grip, and the gun fell to the ground before her body slumped down, blood running from her head.

Jackson stood over her, pistol in his hand, blood spattered on his face.

‘Jesus, Jack!’

‘She were about to shoot ya!’

‘Fuck!’ Merrick spat, ‘Fuck!’ He turned back to the man, and the man clawed over to his shotgun, one hand still holding onto his leg. He looked over at his dead wife on the grass.

‘Ya shot ‘er!’ Then his face contorted, ‘You shot my baby!’

Merrick and Jackson watched as he lifted the gun, both of them ready with their guns to shoot if they had to.

It looked as if the man would point the gun towards them. But then he turned it on himself, ‘I’ll meet ya in the heavens, Ize!’ Then a sudden look of peace pulled his face back together, and smiling, he pulled the trigger.

Part 4: There goes the Wub

Jameson’s men were getting louder and more belligerent as they drank day away into night.

‘Where do they think their main man got t’?’

Merrick and Jackson sat under the window with their backs against the wall. Merrick peered out the window every now and then.

‘They ent thinkin’ too much.’ Merrick replied, this time looking through the splintered door frame.

‘So let me get this straight, ya man,’ Jackson pointed behind the wall at Jameson’s body, ‘got your boyfrien’ kilt ‘cause ‘e were gay and nothin’ else?’

Merrick frowned, ‘’I dunno that ‘e ordered it. But one of ‘is men killed ‘im ‘cause ‘e were gay.’ Merrick swallowed, ‘What don’t ya believe ‘bout that?’

Jackson shrugged.

The light outside was fading past and the shack was fading into dark shadows. Merrick turned to Jackson, ‘In they cidy, they accept gay people now. But ‘ere in bum fuck Coventry, they send gays out to Coventry, Coventry!’

Jackson looked puzzled.

‘We’re all freaks ‘ere in one way or t’other. But if you’re a man who likes dick, they’ll fuck ya up like you’re the freak of fuckin’ freaks!’ Merrick remarked.  

There was a silence between them as the shack grew darker, ‘I were beaten up as a teenager ‘cause of me chest.’ Jackson broke the silence.

The sound of the men blabbering came in from outside.

‘Ah knew of a lad who ‘ad been thrown out of t’ cidy. His freakishness wasn’t readily obvious. Not till ‘e got older and ‘e realised for ‘imsel’ a few things. So anyway, ‘e got sent ‘ere to live with the misfits.’ Merrick looked out the window to check on the men before continuing, ‘People kept askin’ ‘im, ‘Why ‘ave ya come ‘ere? Why? You could’ve hid in plain sight and carried on livin’ t’ cidy.’’ Merrick shook his head, ‘He replied that ‘e couldn’t live there ‘cause ‘e felt too closed in, unable to be ‘imself. ‘e said ‘e’d been t’ one of those suicide booths they ‘ave in the cidies. When they brought ‘is clone out for a second round of life, ‘e realised the suicide booth was pointless. So ‘e told t’ truth  and thee sent ‘im t’ only place he could get a gun.’

‘T’the land of nowhere fer a gun.’ Jackson remarked.

‘Yea,’ Merrick continued, ‘So the idea was ‘e would come ‘ere and blow his soul out so ‘e couldn’t be brought back.’

‘So what med ‘im a freak? That ‘e wanted t’ die?’

‘In the cidy’s eyes?’ Merrick asked, ‘Well, ‘e ‘ad a vagina.’

‘So ‘e were a she?’

‘I guess. Meybe.’ Merrick thought on this a moment, ‘’Ah think it was a brain thing.’ Merrick shrugged, ‘Anyway, the point is ‘e came ‘ere to get a gun and blow ‘is soul out. But then when ‘e got ‘ere, ‘e chickened out. ‘E couldn’t find it in ‘imsel’ to place a gun to ‘is neck and do it. So ‘e went around askin’ people to shoot ‘im dead, dead. ‘Will you do it?’ ‘e said, handing ‘is gun t’ people. ‘Please?’ He’d plead with ‘em. But none of ‘em would.’

Merrick continued, ‘then one day he asked a woman and her ‘usband, ‘Will you do it?’ he handed ‘em the gun, tilting ‘is head to the side and pointin’ to ‘is neck. ‘Just shoot here.’ He told them. And the woman looked at the man and ‘er ‘usband looked at him in a sort of stand off. Then the woman says, ‘Ah’ll do it if ya tell me why. And if I deem ya reason acceptable, ah’ll shoot’’

Jackson whistled, ‘Who made ‘er judge and jury?’

Merrick ignored him and continued, ‘Anyway so the lad turns to the woman and asks, ‘’ow do you feel about gays?’ The woman goes, ‘I woudn’t shoot ya for it. But I’d set ya reet!’’ So the lad goes, ‘What about trannies?’’ The woman claps ‘er ‘ands t’gether and says, ‘Ya jus’ another on of us!’ And she hugs ‘im. She tells ‘im, ‘Welcome to nowhere land.’ But ‘er ‘usband is frowning and grimacing somethin’ fierce. And then there is a flash and a bang, and the woman’s face is splattered in blood. ‘er mouth gaped open, ‘er body shakin’ as the lad’s body drops to the floor. She turns to ‘er ‘usband still shakin’ ‘Why did ya do that?’ ‘er ‘usband points across the road to a man who is standing there, gun still hot in ‘is hand. ‘What did ya jus’ do!’ The woman screamed at him with fury and anguish on ‘er face. ‘Can’t ‘ave one of them freaks ‘ere!’ The man bawled at her.’

Jackson shook his head, ‘’ow do you know of this? I don’t even believe it,’ Jackson shook his head again, ‘No, I don’t damn well believe ya, fella.’

‘I can tell ya it did ‘cause I lived in a little wooden shack next to that ‘usband and wife.’

‘I don’t get ya point though; why are ya tellin’ me this?’

‘T’ tell ya, even freaks can find a scapegoat too freakish for their sensibilities. It don’t madder if ya live in the cidy or the exclusion zone!’

‘I don’t see why that person couldn’t jus’ live in cidy as a woman.’

‘There is a long ‘istory frem my understandin’. ‘fore invasion, there was a point way back when it looked like acceptance was growing. But then progress went backwards. Anyway, I think don’t think they wanted t’ live as a woman. That was the point.’

‘We don’t choose shit like that though.’ Jackson said.

Merrick shrugged, ‘Who say’s we choose anythin?’

Merrick looked out through the window, and it was darker now, but from the light reflecting from the bar he could just make out Jameson’s men. They were in a heap on the ground.

‘Sayin’ ya a lad when ya a woman is a choice.’ Jackson said.

‘I dunno ‘bout that.’ Merrick replied, ‘Ah sure never chosen ‘ow I felt ‘bout nothin’’ He crept to the door, ‘Wait ‘ere.’ He told Jackson. Creeping up to the heaps on the ground, he saw it was the two men, collapsed in drunken stupors, and one of them was lying in a puddle of his own piss. He scampered back to the shack, ‘Time fer us t’ leave.’

Jackson looked up at him in a daze, ‘What?’

‘Time fer us t’ leave ‘fore they wake up!’

Jackson heaved himself back up and staggered toward the door.

                                                        #

‘I was thinkin’’ Jackson started, his breath on Merrick’s neck as he rode behind him on Tucker.

‘Yea?’

‘Do you think we’re freaks, Mer?’

Merrick’s body stiffened, ‘Don’t call me that.’

Jackson laughed.

‘Ah mean it Jack. Don’t call me that.’

‘It’s jus’ shortenin’ ya name!’ Jackson protested, ‘Like ‘ow you call me Jack!’

‘Do ya not like Jack?’

‘Nah, I’m fine wit’ it.’

‘Well, there ya go, you’re fine wit’ it. But I’m not.’

‘Alright.’

Silence descended between them, the sound of Tuckers hooves ticking down the time as they trotted in the direction of the lady with the gun. Lines of trees on either side of them sped by.

‘Still, what do ya think?’ Jackson asked, breaking the silence.

‘Do ah really think we’re freaks?’ Merrick scratched at his stubble, ‘In terms of the cidy vs us? Yea, we’re freaks.’

‘Ya don’t mind bein’ called a freak?’

‘Not by our lot.’ Merrick replied.

‘Even when our lot call gays freaks?’

‘No, cause they mean it the same way the cidy means it about all of us.’

‘yea?’

‘They spit it out with hate.’ Merrick replied.