We felt ourselves hapless victims of childhood
arms folded, sulkin’
not another five minutes to play
gotta go back to school on Monday
childhood didn’t fill our boots
so we outgrew them quicker than we meant to
I’d already been under the scalpel
chest wide open with the swirl of finger tips in gloves
digging to the heart of the matter
then sewing me back up in blue
like blue laces
knotting up my chest
the place where secrets get kept
I worried they’d seep through
now that I was a boot
what if I wasn’t weather proof?
the rain would fall and the soul of my socks would squelch
I heard the other kid died in surgery
I wondered at that, but not for too long, because I was young
but it left it’s mark
I grew up with bubblegum breath
and a sheen of tears
’cause the other kids said I was weird
I played on the street after school
I thought my friends back home thought I was cool
which was a different aspect to what I knew
in that place of learning
but they got pulled up by their ears
soon saw me for being weird
and that was that.
I felt a discarded boot
a bullseye only a target to shoot
so I ran in the woods to the river
skipped stones and became greener than my roots
Poetry
Fox cub huskie terriers
Me mate strolls in says, ‘They pack thee fannies over’t pond’
he’s ever a husky if ever he were a dog
he whines and howls like one
i’m a fox cub already battle worn
hounded down by men in flatcaps from’t conservative club (me da’s mates)
‘What ya on about now?’ I glare ‘im down
‘Woman on tele asked where ‘er fanny pack was!’
‘Bumbag’ me da said over’t newspaper
‘Bumbag t’ you too!’ me mate replied, candy fresh smile broadened his cheeks
‘Now you little…’ me da started, the newspaper all rustle and bustle in his huge paws
‘Ya git on outta ‘ere ‘fore I gi’e ya mother a reason…’
He needn’t finish that sentence
me mate ran out howling as he meant to prowl
the street wouldn’t ‘old him
ever a terrier in his blood
ran up the ginnel up to the woods
he ‘ad scent on a fox
trailed it to our den under a dense canopy of trees and bushes
he pushed a glacier mint into his maw
and I ran in breathless after ‘im
‘A shouldn’t’ve called ya da a Bumbag.’
”E don’t care. Jus’ wanted us out of ‘is ‘air’
we sat in’t den and scribbled our names in dirt with twigs
when paper mill siren blew it’s horn
we ‘unkered down as if it were’t blitz
mud on us faces
films we’d seen on little screens played in our ‘eads
anyone passing by was soldiers not merely men
we ‘ushed ourselves with sweets and glacier mints
we felt alive, animal, primal
a fox’s den, territorial
we didn’t know war
just the mood of cubs hidin’
wild eyes ablaze
licked clean by mums
a wilderness still alight in us.
Algorithm’s mutants
A wild beast scrambled
The writhing of discarded pieces
worming their way into the periphery
picassoesque faces
grotesquing beauty
the eyes of luck impervious
to our talismans
transparency smudged
with the swirl of fingers
pulling our jaws from their hinges
the art of a horror show
agape on the dials of our features
metamorphosing into Dr Algorithm’s mutants
Scuttlebutt
The bees buzzed the latest scuttlebutt of the land
petals a quiver with all the critters
creeping and crawling
the buttercup highway
The sun gleaned the morning
bursting forth rumour of a hot day
Menalcholia: Emptiness
There is a violent melancholy
it’s in my lungs
my blood is curdled by it
it begs for someone, something
to be fought
just needless violence
to mark the vivacity
of this emptiness
Sunday wordle: Traffic
What did we raze for these serpent roads
to roll as armoured beasts
to what slain saints of the underworld do we owe our gratitude
as we crawl as great hulks
through the mist of our every herds breath
traffic lights, the storytellers to this entity as one
as we blink our hooded eyes out of the sun
this long, long beast a dragons tail, serpentine
roars with impatient voices
waiting, longing, straining
for the emeralds.
Cannibal
There is white noise
beaming from your teeth
As we become ground meat
smeared against your cannibalistic grin
all the hate you shape
We only taste good after you’ve driven us insane
A violent heart
Smugness has sculpted your face into a permanent sneer
It’s fascinating
I can’t bear it
Sometimes I want to punch you, rearrange your face
I know it’s violence for violence’s sake, I’m afraid
You bring out the worst in me
Though sometimes I doubt it’s not for the greater good
Doesn’t it show that inside of me is a thumping heart?
And what better way to feed it’s hunger
than being on the lookout for blood?
Primal Heart
The sunrays spangled
through the human debris
plastic
ensared on the branches of a tree
flailing in the breeze
playing trickery in the shadows
make it appear like flights of fancy
but then a Blackbird
dino skitters along the fence
It makes me imagine a velociraptor
and his shadow plays on my wall
and I think that’s what I’m missing
something primal, primitive
My heart beats for it
though overcome by the fear of it
but the fear itself uncivilising me
Thus, wild I am becoming
Flesh
I don’t know why; I picture us under red light
as we become entwined under the sheets
I’ve seen films trying to be poetry
bending light in such ways
as to allow the viewer to possess beauty
but I want to bear you
while you seize me as your own territory
Perhaps the red light is a symbol of the blood that runs in moments like this
the rivers we run through
to be taken or take another
always trying to claw back to that feeling
of something primal, something more than human
that animal within us
when we need something
more akin to murder
perhaps like fucking
where nothing is more tender
than the meeting of flesh and bone
