At lunchtime I bought a huge orange 
my husband, sat in his chair with his belt undone
I said, ‘Sometimes I think of divorcing you.’ 
He laughed, looked at the orange
bigger than my hand, it was 
‘where’s James?’ He smirked 
‘Thats a peach!’ 
‘Looks like an orange to me!’ He replied
I was about to argue but instead I just shrugged 
and put the huge orange on the chair 
next to the melon no one admits is there. 

Next time I might find a giant peach 
and a man called James 
that’ll make him fasten his belt up quick. 

Written for W3