Part 3: There goes the Wub

Jameson’s men were getting louder and more belligerent as they drank day away into night.

‘Where do they think their main man got t’?’

Merrick and Jackson sat under the window with their backs against the wall. Merrick peered out the window every now and then.

‘They ent thinkin’ too much.’ Merrick replied, this time looking through the splintered door frame.

‘So let me get this straight, ya man,’ Jackson pointed behind the wall at Jameson’s body, ‘got your boyfrien’ kilt ‘cause ‘e were gay and nothin’ else?’

Merrick frowned, ‘’I dunno that ‘e ordered it. But one of ‘is men killed ‘im ‘cause ‘e were gay.’ Merrick swallowed, ‘What don’t ya believe ‘bout that?’

Jackson shrugged.

The light outside was fading past and the shack was fading into dark shadows. Merrick turned to Jackson, ‘In they cidy, they accept gay people now. But ‘ere in bum fuck Coventry, they send gays out to Coventry, Coventry!’

Jackson looked puzzled.

‘We’re all freaks ‘ere in one way or t’other. But if you’re a man who likes dick, they’ll fuck ya up like you’re the freak of fuckin’ freaks!’ Merrick remarked.  

There was a silence between them as the shack grew darker, ‘I were beaten up as a teenager ‘cause of me chest.’ Jackson broke the silence.

The sound of the men blabbering came in from outside.

‘Ah knew of a lad who ‘ad been thrown out of t’ cidy. His freakishness wasn’t readily obvious. Not till ‘e got older and ‘e realised for ‘imsel’ a few things. So anyway, ‘e got sent ‘ere to live with the misfits.’ Merrick looked out the window to check on the men before continuing, ‘People kept askin’ ‘im, ‘Why ‘ave ya come ‘ere? Why? You could’ve hid in plain sight and carried on livin’ t’ cidy.’’ Merrick shook his head, ‘He replied that ‘e couldn’t live there ‘cause ‘e felt too closed in, unable to be ‘imself. ‘e said ‘e’d been t’ one of those suicide booths they ‘ave in the cidies. When they brought ‘is clone out for a second round of life, ‘e realised the suicide booth was pointless. So ‘e told t’ truth  and thee sent ‘im t’ only place he could get a gun.’

‘T’the land of nowhere fer a gun.’ Jackson remarked.

‘Yea,’ Merrick continued, ‘So the idea was ‘e would come ‘ere and blow his soul out so ‘e couldn’t be brought back.’

‘So what med ‘im a freak? That ‘e wanted t’ die?’

‘In the cidy’s eyes?’ Merrick asked, ‘Well, ‘e ‘ad a vagina.’

‘So ‘e were a she?’

‘I guess. Meybe.’ Merrick thought on this a moment, ‘’Ah think it was a brain thing.’ Merrick shrugged, ‘Anyway, the point is ‘e came ‘ere to get a gun and blow ‘is soul out. But then when ‘e got ‘ere, ‘e chickened out. ‘E couldn’t find it in ‘imsel’ to place a gun to ‘is neck and do it. So ‘e went around askin’ people to shoot ‘im dead, dead. ‘Will you do it?’ ‘e said, handing ‘is gun t’ people. ‘Please?’ He’d plead with ‘em. But none of ‘em would.’

Merrick continued, ‘then one day he asked a woman and her ‘usband, ‘Will you do it?’ he handed ‘em the gun, tilting ‘is head to the side and pointin’ to ‘is neck. ‘Just shoot here.’ He told them. And the woman looked at the man and ‘er ‘usband looked at him in a sort of stand off. Then the woman says, ‘Ah’ll do it if ya tell me why. And if I deem ya reason acceptable, ah’ll shoot’’

Jackson whistled, ‘Who made ‘er judge and jury?’

Merrick ignored him and continued, ‘Anyway so the lad turns to the woman and asks, ‘’ow do you feel about gays?’ The woman goes, ‘I woudn’t shoot ya for it. But I’d set ya reet!’’ So the lad goes, ‘What about trannies?’’ The woman claps ‘er ‘ands t’gether and says, ‘Ya jus’ another on of us!’ And she hugs ‘im. She tells ‘im, ‘Welcome to nowhere land.’ But ‘er ‘usband is frowning and grimacing somethin’ fierce. And then there is a flash and a bang, and the woman’s face is splattered in blood. ‘er mouth gaped open, ‘er body shakin’ as the lad’s body drops to the floor. She turns to ‘er ‘usband still shakin’ ‘Why did ya do that?’ ‘er ‘usband points across the road to a man who is standing there, gun still hot in ‘is hand. ‘What did ya jus’ do!’ The woman screamed at him with fury and anguish on ‘er face. ‘Can’t ‘ave one of them freaks ‘ere!’ The man bawled at her.’

Jackson shook his head, ‘’ow do you know of this? I don’t even believe it,’ Jackson shook his head again, ‘No, I don’t damn well believe ya, fella.’

‘I can tell ya it did ‘cause I lived in a little wooden shack next to that ‘usband and wife.’

‘I don’t get ya point though; why are ya tellin’ me this?’

‘T’ tell ya, even freaks can find a scapegoat too freakish for their sensibilities. It don’t madder if ya live in the cidy or the exclusion zone!’

‘I don’t see why that person couldn’t jus’ live in cidy as a woman.’

‘There is a long ‘istory frem my understandin’. ‘fore invasion, there was a point way back when it looked like acceptance was growing. But then progress went backwards. Anyway, I think don’t think they wanted t’ live as a woman. That was the point.’

‘We don’t choose shit like that though.’ Jackson said.

Merrick shrugged, ‘Who say’s we choose anythin?’

Merrick looked out through the window, and it was darker now, but from the light reflecting from the bar he could just make out Jameson’s men. They were in a heap on the ground.

‘Sayin’ ya a lad when ya a woman is a choice.’ Jackson said.

‘I dunno ‘bout that.’ Merrick replied, ‘Ah sure never chosen ‘ow I felt ‘bout nothin’’ He crept to the door, ‘Wait ‘ere.’ He told Jackson. Creeping up to the heaps on the ground, he saw it was the two men, collapsed in drunken stupors, and one of them was lying in a puddle of his own piss. He scampered back to the shack, ‘Time fer us t’ leave.’

Jackson looked up at him in a daze, ‘What?’

‘Time fer us t’ leave ‘fore they wake up!’

Jackson heaved himself back up and staggered toward the door.

                                                        #

‘I was thinkin’’ Jackson started, his breath on Merrick’s neck as he rode behind him on Tucker.

‘Yea?’

‘Do you think we’re freaks, Mer?’

Merrick’s body stiffened, ‘Don’t call me that.’

Jackson laughed.

‘Ah mean it Jack. Don’t call me that.’

‘It’s jus’ shortenin’ ya name!’ Jackson protested, ‘Like ‘ow you call me Jack!’

‘Do ya not like Jack?’

‘Nah, I’m fine wit’ it.’

‘Well, there ya go, you’re fine wit’ it. But I’m not.’

‘Alright.’

Silence descended between them, the sound of Tuckers hooves ticking down the time as they trotted in the direction of the lady with the gun. Lines of trees on either side of them sped by.

‘Still, what do ya think?’ Jackson asked, breaking the silence.

‘Do ah really think we’re freaks?’ Merrick scratched at his stubble, ‘In terms of the cidy vs us? Yea, we’re freaks.’

‘Ya don’t mind bein’ called a freak?’

‘Not by our lot.’ Merrick replied.

‘Even when our lot call gays freaks?’

‘No, cause they mean it the same way the cidy means it about all of us.’

‘yea?’

‘They spit it out with hate.’ Merrick replied.